the imagery here is quite depressing - "rude rain", "hopeless lights" - but the last three lines are absolutely beautiful - "so dark it would never believe the day". makes me think about closing within myself and searching for the inner light. there is also a certain inner rhyme here, not clearly shown, but if you read it out loud, slowly, it's almost like an incantation. very nice!
I've read a lot of your work today. I came across it a few weeks ago and it was captivating... but then I lost the link and here I am again. Your words are exquisitely placed.
- i echo serah's admiration for you as a poet - and i echo her prayer - your genius is astonishing - you're a master artist - you're a poetic holy man - you are - a true master, mister -
we all stand in line for alms
the sky drops a few stray coins
blurred blood, blue skies
rude rain
until we say - no more
. un-friekin'-believable ... amazing alliteration ... profundity that smears existential struggles on these beautiful words ... with brush strokes ... of dark and light ... and the truth ... its essence sprinkled to perfection in the last three lines ... i pray that the universe saves ... lost clouds and little lapping waves ... so that the rain is no longer rude ... and hopeless lights don't brood ... beautiful writing, paul ... you stretch the boundaries of genius and how ... wow ...
the imagery here is quite depressing - "rude rain", "hopeless lights" - but the last three lines are absolutely beautiful - "so dark it would never believe the day". makes me think about closing within myself and searching for the inner light. there is also a certain inner rhyme here, not clearly shown, but if you read it out loud, slowly, it's almost like an incantation. very nice!