poems float

poems float

on the water

fish swim by

unseen unaware

thinking the water

is air

thoughts invade

clear minds

like storms on a 

sea

thinking of you

not thinking

of me

Reviews

[.]

. the story of my life ... but i couldn't have said it so perfectly ... the remarkable intensity of profundity, depth, simplicity and utter genius that you transcend with each poem you write is astonishing ... yet i wish ... more than ever before ... for you ... for em ... for christopher (isolophobe) ... and everyone else who is suffering ... and me ... the thoughts of someone who is thinking of us ... may love win ... just this once ... may love last ... just this once ... may the after taste of life not be bitter ... and may our soul mates find us rather than hangout on facebook and twitter ... or worse still ... live as if nothing happened ... when we did happen to them ... when they happened to us ... here's to you, coach ... and here's also to the rest of all of us ...

[Victoria Kay]

And in so few words, you convey...everything.

[Kerry O'Connor]

This is an entirely original comparison - I love your light touch with words and how you allow the image to build up piecemeal until it crystallizes in the reader's mind.

[Narnie]

Perfection. The double space between the two sets of stanzas because the two thoughts stand alone in the poem clouds you created. I love the water as air - that will be a keeper in my mind.

[Emily B]

oh, but I was thinking of you

you are never very far away

[Miss Coral]

Love it- the second stanza especially was wonderful. It struck gently, but niggled in and came out strong. Really interesting piece- great job. :)

-Coral-

[ttttt]

Wonderful. Short, but very piercing.

[em]

- absolutely magical words from you - yet again - paul!! - you're a master - at outdoing the astounding brilliance - you show us the elements in a new light - and every little thing - that the rest of us walk past - unable to even comprehend - sometimes - ignorant enough - to not even know - that comprehension is needed - you tell us - like no one else could - there is a new world - in every poem - in every line - and in every word -
- and 'storms on a still sea' - i just want to echo serah's 'ohhhh' - over and and over - :) -
- may this be the - the one time - that love lasts - amen to serah's prayer - :) -

[Robin]

I liked the flow and gentle rhyme within this piece as it lent to the 'calm before storm' feel

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

How are thoughts can surrender themselves to another and still they are our thoughts..a very interesting write dear friend.

[.]

. still sea ... ohhhhh ...