Graciously

For K, my old friend and lover, and for P, who forgave me.

In a time when I
carried a pain and guilt
far past my living age,
you appeared.

Full of wonder and whimsy
and life force uplifting,
you brought healing
anew, the most
wonderful young pixie!

And how I arose
with freshly drawn strength,
falling deeply in love
in a world of music
and painting
and laughter
and sleeping late.

How you filled me with
fantastic fire,
something to live for,
and a thrumming desire.
And O, how I had you,
and how you had me,
graciously.

Each minute of you
that I took for my own
was a minute
I stole,for you
were akin of another.

Each gulp of you
that so deeply I drank
in a lustious haze
was a gulp that I stole
from the mouth
of my own brother.

But I too got mine
As I would find
in good time
you would leave me
as you left him.

When I found you with the kiss
of new love upon your lips,
you were as
innocent as a child who
just cannot stay focused for
the fullness of a novel.

I knew that the love
of this world
for you
was bigger than me.

And I let you pass,
graciously.