The Nerve

All the nerves that I thought
I had cut
are growing back again and

I can feel them growing around
my bones
and taking root deep inside my skin.

They grow like weeds in the back of my eyes
and their poison
paints your portrait in my mind.

They strangle my brain
and revive the dead sounds
of your laughter
that I worked so hard
to drown
with whiskey
and send them ringing in my
ears

and It’s driving me mad
because every night I sleep,
the cushion of your cheek
on mine
is slowly becoming unforgotten

and I bite my pillow

and scream

because

the cure was working
and you were
banished from my
spine
and there was no trace
of you after
all the s**t I put in my arms
and up my nose
to replace the void
that was left
when I tore out the wiring
that laced around my veins
and kept you
alive inside me

and I’m right back
where I started
at the foot of your grave

kissing the tombstone

and hugging the earth.