Unknown

A family enters a vacant flat. It's revealed that this was the home of the parents' late son who recently died by suicide. They have to unpack his apartment. We explore familial relationships.

Short Story Plot Outline

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

Andrew Macintyre (ex husband)(58)

-realizes that his wife has problems

-he initiated the divorce after most of the children had left the house when Thomas was 18 and Thomas was 25

Leah Murphy (55)

-mother of three children

-divorced

-feels guilt oldest son’s suicide

-was unhappy in marriage

-affected her relationship with children

-resentful that the children loved her husband more than her

-fear of dying

-fear of being alone

-inability to maintain relationships in a healthy way

-manipulative

-passive-aggressive

-jealous of her children’s perceived freedom when she was a stay-at home mother

-grew up in a low-income family

-materialistic

-ran away when she was younger, her parents were not supportive

-she favoured Thomas above the rest as he’d always give her what she wanted

-when her oldest child was 20, she went to night school

-becoming a parent led to her feelings of insecurity-> need to change, be successful

-had children when she was 19 and married

-suffers from depression

-partner in a law-firm

-attention-seeking

-somewhat vain- wants to keep up appearances

-perfectionist

-has a need for control

-prideful

-self-centered

-delusional- denies and redirects blame

Leo

                -Multiple relationships

                -non-commital

                -pesimistic

 

Dylan

                -married

                -Judge/Mediator: The arbitrator or peacemaker in a conflict.

                -People-pleasing

                -responsable

 

Thomas

                -married

                -had a child

 

CHARACTER WANTS AND DESIRES:

-Leah Rogers

- wants to reconnect with her children before her death

-wants children to love her

-wants to be cared for

Dylan M.

-          Wants to understand his mother and wants her to finally connect with him emotionally

-          Wants her to realize her past mistakes

ANTAGONIST:

Leah Rogers (external and internal)

-          She continues to deny her neglectful parenting causing harm to her relationship with her two sons- > inability to change

Leah’s hidden guilt about her son's suicide

Dylan M. and Leo M. (internal)

-both have troubles relating to their mother- conflicted about their emotional distance with their mother

-troubled by brother's death but knew that he was troubled

 

INCITING INCIDENT: the family enters the room where Thomas died by suicide

RISING ACTION:

               

CLIMAX:

-Leo walks out?

- there’s an argument

EPIPHANY:

Dylan

-          realizes he’ll never get his mother to own up to her mistakes- he stays anyways as he feels it is his duty and wants to not regret his decision later

Leo

-never had much faith in his mother to begin with- is not surprised when she becomes overly defensive when it comes to her parenting �" she meets his expectations although he hides the fact that a part of him had hoped but was now disappointed

Leah

                -never realizes her mistakes but knows that she won

-takes Dylan’s support for love though she knows its wrong

-knows this is not enough to give her life meaning

 

The stout sparse-haired man plucked the key out of the side-pocket of his loose faded jeans. He jiggled it into the lock and pushed the wood grain texture of the door backward. Fluttering his hand, he beckoned the four individuals behind him forward.

He turned his head towards them, his eyebrows tilted outward; his mouth curled upward showing his upper coffee stained teeth. He fumbled with the key in the lock, needing a couple jagged turns to finally pull it out.

He expelled a waft of coffee breath and let out a breathy chuckle.

“Whoowee…I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come. The new tenants are coming in a -,” his face flushed and he frowned, “S-S-So sorry. Th-th-that wasn’t right for me to bring up now, was it? Truly deeply sorry. If there’s anything I can do, just call me at that number I left you. The janitor will leave a dollie for you by the door,”  He shrunk, his hand awkwardly stroking the few strands of hair still left on his head.

            “That’s all right. I’m sure we’ll manage,” her hand was slung on her hip like a saddle. His mother told the Landlord this with a demure smile as they shifted uncomfortably in the flat’s entrance. After all these years, she looked relatively the same. Her mane of curly hair was so black, it shone blue. She had been dying it since she was seventeen. She adjusted the peacock feather printed fabric of her shawl around her neck.

The balding squat Landlord skirted his way past them as if an attempt to avoid further slips of the tongue.

All four of them trailed into the room, one after another. The cardboard boxes his father held bumped jarringly against the wooden door frame. He was surprised to find his usually impassive mother a but shaken.

His mother didn’t want to be there. There was an important case at her law firm that she had to attend to. His mother had told him she had a fever, she said she had an important meeting she couldn’t miss. It wasn’t until his dad talked to her or more accurately freaked out on her that she thought she could maybe get better.

“You’d think he would have gotten himself something nicer. I’m glad to see he made the most of the money I sent him,” she said this crisply.

The flat walls were painted an eggshell colour. Most of the walls were bare except for the lone framed pointillist painting of a dog shaking its fur in an explosion of paint splatters. The floor was a hard tanned wood under his feet. The space was quite quaint. There was a beige loveseat and a small television monitor set on a footstool. The bathroom felt the size of a shoe closet. In the left-hand corner of the ceiling, there was a curious water spot that resembled the shape of a rabbit. The only thing that stood out in the living room was the less than quaint piano. It’s shiny ivory teeth glistened in the fluorescent panels of the small flat. It surprised him to see that the majority of the black piano was caked in dust but there seemed to be circular wipe marks cutting through in several places at the top. How strange? His eyes hit the keys once more and they honed in on something that he hadn’t seen before. There was a slight red dot on one of the keys. He was mesmerized by that one red speck. It seemed to paint his vision.

His mother crept up behind him. He jumped backward.

“

 

 

Author's Note

Very Very rough copy of a shorty story.Also included a rough plot outline. I need ideas to strengthen plot and ideas for what I might be able to add to the rising action.