broken eyes

its a vivid memory i had one day whilst walking

once i was walking in a lonely avenue 

when i suddenly saw this boy 

he  reeked of sorrow an abyss of melancholy

his eyes were  broken.

as we passed each other 

i could sense that acknowledged me and 

i acknowledged him.

for a brief second i peered into his eyes and in return 

he peered into mine . i could feel his sorrow , i could feel his pain

his eye's told an entire story of sadness .

to the naked eye we are placid , but only broken eyes 

can see broken spirits and in the end as we passed each other 

we both concluded one irrefutable fact a single clear deduction

and that deduction was that we were both broken.

Author's Note

don't ignore anything tell me what u think clearly lol

Reviews

[The Girl That Let You G..]

Flows brilliantly. You've clearly conveyed your imagery too. Nice write, keep it up my friend ^.^

[Emily Feret]

his eye's they reeked of sorrow

I really enjoyed your word choice here. Strong.

to the naked eye we are placid , but only broken eyes
can see broken spirits and in the end as we passed each other
we both concluded one irrefutable fact a single clear deduction
and that deduction was that we were both broken.

Wow.

What an amazing truth in your words.

[Peter H]

thank you very much :) i ♥ your inspiring words :)

[A. H. Pinley]

Although I don't write poetry what I do write I read over and over again. Making sure I get the wording just right. Doesn't necessarily mean that I'm actually able to articulate what I'm seeing in my head. Sometimes it takes me 2 to 3 days 2 move beyond 1 page. It's the craft, the art form that makes you take your time. Keep up the great work my friend.

[Peter H]

thanks i've been meaning to read your stories but i seldomly have the time work and school etc you know but i did read something of yours and it was impeccably written i can see you're very meticulous about your writing .

[A. H. Pinley]

It's easy to pass each other by saying I'm not going to bother, not my problem. Reread your piece and add some words. You have expressed humanity. Compassion for a stranger. I feel this everyday. Good write!

[Peter H]

ah thank you ah pinely as usually you're as astute as ever

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I love the connection of both, its moving piece and I enjoy it!

[Peter H]

thank you . :)