Noisy pipes in Punk Minneapolis

an excerpt

(this is an excerpt from my published novel)

Sandra did a quick show around to orient Brett to her apartment. When she came to the bathroom she said, “I hope you have your own towels. I don’t have an extra one.”

“I have my own. Thanks.”

Sandra added, “I don’t have any extra blankets either. I suppose you could sleep under that throw rug over there if you’re not allergic to dust.”

“I have a sleeping bag.”

“I wondered what that was.”

“What did you think it was?”

“I dunno. Your things?”

“I don’t have things.” Brett unrolled it and tossed it over the couch.

“Oh my god, it’s so little! It’s a child’s sleeping bag!”

Brett shrugged. “I’ve had it since Boy Scouts.” He spotted her record albums.

“What’s this? Holy s**t. They can put that on an album cover? Crowded Loincloth?”

Sandra smiled. “I can’t figure out if it’s a joke album or a really weird alternative new age thing that just went right over the edge. I haven’t seen any other Crowded Loincloth albums out there, though. This is it.”

He winced at the image. “I hope you like that sort of thing.”

“I have the coolest records and don’t you forget that, no matter what Becky tells you. And she doesn’t have anything with an album cover so dirty. It’s an import, of course. That’s why I bought it. I bet a lot of flamers bought it too, just to see something like that. The music will put you to sleep though, if you call it music. It’s some sort of psychedelic ambient house that is moaning�"with loops�"with a cheap drum-machine doing the same damn thwap thwap thwap. You can leave it on and go out for pizza and come back and nothing has changed.” She grabbed for another record. “Now, this album is really cool. Have you heard of it? His Name Is Alive is so funny because they’re from Detroit but the record is an import, too.”

“Can I rinse out some laundry in the tub?” He pointed to what he was wearing.

“It’s too late to run water in the tub. The pipes make too much noise and the downstairs neighbors go crazy. The pipes just shriek like evil trumpets. Use the kitchen sink. But not the hot water. That’s really loud. Just the cold.”

“I need to rinse out everything, so I’ll wait till you go to bed.”

“I don’t get to see your naked butt? Good. I’ll go to bed now, so you can get settled in. You can run the bathtub or shower all you want in the morning.”

“Great.”

Sandra paused at her bedroom door. “I bet there was nothing cool to do where you’re from.”

“I had a girlfriend and she was fun to do.”

“Pig.”

“Well?” Brett put his hands up. “There was nothing else to do but have sex or watch cable. That’s how it seemed anyway.”

Sandra asked in a bratty tone, “Why didn’t you marry her?”

“She wanted me to. I didn’t want to get married until I had a real job. I didn’t think the grocery store was a real job. And then it closed anyway. I didn’t want to live with a wife in my parents’ garage. So she started seeing other guys and I split.”

Sandra closed her bedroom door. Brett quickly rinsed out all his clothes and draped them over the back porch railing, hoping the jeans would dry overnight.