restrict me, free me

Running, I'm always running:
towards you and away from you
You'll have to catch me, hold me tight
I know I'll put up a fight

Teach me how to be calm
Teach me how to be free of myself
I need chains to keep me safe,
but not these: these entrap me,
keep me smothered in my mind.

You dont understand. Neither do I.

My games aren't fun, and winning is a loss
I need a whistleblower, an owner, a silver sliver of moonlight to keep me balanced in the darkness.

Can you be that?
Can I live on? I fear life itself.