Never There

I loathed the scent of your cheap aftershave that would permeate the air
wearing the same damn dirty clothes that reeked on hot, humid days
the brooding furrow behind every gesture, every movement in your face
the reflection of a man that was not happy, not one moment of his life
that sick empty gaze after the ritual of reading the paper eerily all day
your silence, when deeply aching for just a moment of your attention
I feared you young, afraid your rage would come swinging at me one day
I cried, I knew during my darkest hours, you wouldn't be there to hold
stuck in your pain, to not see the years of wretched hell I was forced into
kicking mom out, thought why dont you go, anywhere n dont come back
left to care for you, with no memories of love to hang on to thru the nite
your time came to leave us, all I received was your hand layed upon mine
glad it's over, maybe now my heart, my wounds can start to heal softly
it's sad, I will hate you till my last waking breath, till angels call me home