Rotary Perception

The outside of my mind

My skin, my lips, my eyes and mouth

May appear to be

Untouched

Calm and tranquil

 

But what people don’t know is what’s

Brewing, boiling, burning

In that large cauldron of mine

 

While I lay in my bed

And I’m reading my book

I might appear

Motionless

Only my chest inflates and deflates

 

But what people don’t now is what’s

Leaking, igniting, exploding

In that large gas tank of mine

 

A minds tornado

Of thoughts and questions

Of ideas and perceptions

Of long distance reflections

 

I cannot breathe

My brain is pickled

In a jar that can’t be broken

 

A shambles of thoughts

A cluster of stars

With each point

An idea, a vision

 

The future holds

The past buries

The present unfolds

What the future held

And the past repelled

 

A live review

Of my life is written

And my mind needs less

Ideas

Fresh off the press

Reviews

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

Such a strong description of the human insights! I like the idea and the topic apart from the way you have played with words moving to and fro from one part of this idea to another... though i must share the best part of your poem for me ~>
A shambles of thoughts
A cluster of stars
With each point
An idea, a vision

The future holds
The past buries
The present unfolds
What the future held
And the past repelled

I'm really pleased to review your writing my friend! :)

[plainme]

Thank you very much Rafia!

[Inda]

This was fantastic, one of your best in my opinion, just flawless and i just love it! At the end i felt agitated, that's how effective and strong this piece is! Good job.

[plainme]

Thank you very much, Inda! Honestly, I never thought that a simple display of my feelings would be placed at the top of my works, somehow that leaves me with a subtle feeling of confidence. Thanks!

[N!LoC]

very interesting.... i like it very much :-)

[plainme]

Thank you N!LoC