Stupidworld

A selection from my chapbook, Heil Mickey, which is about working for Walt Disney World.

It seems to me,
The General consensous of the world is
ignorance is bliss.
Here at Stupidworld, this adage is ever present.
This is a place where stupidity reigns, it's a constant
In a place where 30-80,000 people visit a day
less than 10% actually use their head
maybe read a sign, answer their own question or read a map.
Questions like, "What time is the 3 o'clock parade?"
never answer themselves
it takes a team of crack rocket surgeons to figure it out.
"How do I get in to this ride?" is another one
even though you can see people walking in
or the line of people waiting to get in
or better yet, they are standing underneath a sign that says
Entrance
Standing underneath things is a huge problem for visitors here
it's almost as if they can never look up
that's too difficult for most.
"What is this?"
While holding a map that describes the ride
never ceases to amaze me.
"Do I just put my ticket in here?"
While pointing to a sign that says
insert park ticket here
with a figure of a hand holding a park ticket right next to it
and a receive park ticket here just under it
either proceeds or follows the question
"How does Fastpass work?"
It seems that people refuse to read.
People who don't speak english are an exemption
they can't read english,
but what about those red blooded Americans.
Not only do they not read, but they don't listen either.
Asking someone to move all the way down to the end of the row
ends up in a blank stare from the guest like you're not there at all
that's where hand motions come in, but to no avail
they'll still sit there like you're invisible
like ignoring you will make you go away.
These people are lemmings.
They just follow the group blindly
Then ask "What show is this?" when they get there
and when given their own entrance
they continue to follow the pack
go where everyone else is going
even though there is no line in front of them.
They'll stand in front of an open turnstile
and stare at you when you tell them to use both.
the left or the right
you have to spell it out for them
they hardly ever figure it out for themselves.
This is the same place where
"Wait right here."
means, just come right in, no matter how many times you say it.
Conversely, I've seen folks
unlatch a chain that leads to a moving ride
and I might add, impending death and or dismemberment
and look at you weird when you stop them
and also call you an a*****e
or something else more beautiful and eloquent.
I've been called a smartass for asking someone
to read the pass they hold in their hand
because I can see from where I am that the pass is invalid
due to the big black box containing the uppercase letters forming
NOT A VALID FASTPASS
but I can't read the small print stating why
so for that, I'm a smartass.
Seeing the things that go on, hearing the questions they ask
it makes sense why this country would vote for Bush
not once, but twice
and why they'd believe anything they hear.
This world is pabulum fed, mostly by TV.
They come here on vacation, jabbering into cellphones
dragging their kids around like luggage.
They'll stand in a major exit and feed their child on the ground
or change a baby on the floor of a major walkway.
They'll ask if you work here
when you're wearing a uniform and a nametag
while wearing a shirt saying I'm surrounded by idiots.
They'll ask where the entrance to the ride is
that's surrounded by a giant green wall
that's clearly marked
This area is being refurbished for you future enjoyment
and still be astounded when you tell them it's closed.
They'll ask what the wait time is
while standing in front of a sign that says
the wait time is 55 minutes
and ask you if the wait time really is
55 minutes.
It all boils down to that,
the meek have not inherited the earth but,
the ignorant and lazy have
and all I can say is
Welcome to Stupidworld

Reviews

[Hello, Goodbye]

sprawling nutzoness but in a good way.. poetically psychedelic..