Pickle & Expression

:....:....:....:....:
Pickle

In the end, you were the same
As always, nothing changed,
Never loving.
I smile contentfully up at
Your slowly greening face, and body
Precariously dangling from the
Balcony with silken lines;
Bloodshot eyes glare ruefully at me,
I smirk.
The perfect suicide,
Autoerotic asphyxiaton.
Your face deepens in color.
I always knew you were a pickle.

 

:....:....:....:....:
Expression

Maybe it was your eyes,
Maybe it was your smile that
Made me entranced by you,
But I never imagined I'd become
Entranced by death.
The affectionate smiles
Quickly turned to lies,
Pathetic tries that worked
Before I had a moment to
Realize that your intentions were
Oh so far from perfect.
Your eyes slowly detatched,
As if you weren't in there,
And it was then that the first of many
Gunshots fired into my abdomen,
And it was then that the first of many
Cries echoed through our cozy litle flat;
The last thing I'll see is your expression.

Author's Note

Lol, my friend and I flipped to a random page in the dictionary, then wrote a poem on the first word we saw. I made it even more difficult for myself, and matched the words into pairs of opposites, or at least as close to opposite as I could get without being blantantly obvious. As above, in Pickle, I kill my significant other and make it look like a mistaken suicide. In Expression, my significant other kills me.
Written 8/18/09 at like...4am.
Thoughts? Comments? Appreciated.
There are more like this to come, if y'all are interested.
On a totally separate note, RAWR, I'm thirsty. It's Ramadan. :[

Reviews

[Becca*Type2012]

Pickle= lol at the end, but nice work! Sad poem, but isn't that like Jenn.
Expression= sad, but again very nice work. Very Jenn like.

[V. Lucien Maier]

interesting play with words, it flows nicely although I might put the explanation of what you are doing in the beginning so readers may understand the method behind the maddess as it were. before reading the piece.

[cest la vie]

I loved it!! Two stories in one poem ! I love this line: "I always knew you were a pickle."