Wounds

The wounds have healed.
The feeling of love is sealed;
However these scars run deep
And my eyes are about to weep.

Time has slowly passed us by,
is it possible for another try?
When you in the shadow, time freezes...
but the longing never eases.

Flashes of days that have came and passed,
wishing our love could have lasted.
No one is left to blame, but me;
'cause of my childish insecurities.

Will this burning passion ever leave?
Why can't I get a reprieve?
I'm praying with a faithful heart
and I'm wanting a whole new start.

I'm wishing for your hand to hold on
instead of me feeling lonely and cold.
Wounds open fresh and new...
so now what am I suppose to do?

Loving words make it start again.
How do we become only friends?
The hole in my heart is here.
I need your love, your sweet care.

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Writer,

I find the rhymes to be a bit forced, but the overall emotionalism is very complex shedding its fragrance in colors of loneliness, pain, regret, and need. The title best describes the shedding of this poem from your mind, to your fingertips, to paper, and to the eyes of the reader. Thank you. Grammatically though, there is a few places that you could work on: if you wish for me to critique it grammatically, give me a message.

Mechanically, it's a very well written poem conveying definitively what you are trying to convey. And I love especially towards the end of this poem as my favorite. Thank you for your life, for you for simply living and not giving up is an encouragement to me. Thank you. 9.4/10.

As a friend and a writer,
S. W. Scaggs

[Parker Pearl]

revise. some of the word choices are clunky, and the rhyme is a stretch. the subject matter is also a bit contrived. i feell your pain here, but pieces like this are a dime a dozen. when it comes to a break up poem, ya gotta go for the balls if you want to catch peoples' interest. otherwise it just comes across as afternoon tv melodramatics.

[alesuriko]

Really nicely written. Every line was full of emotion and expression. I really liked it.

[Dillon Cotter]

The structure of this write isn't bad at all. I can feel the emotion and just the heart-ache as i read more and more. Much detai is here too. Nice work.

-Will

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wonderful expression of the fears and anxieties that come after loves leaves you cold, smooth flowing but powerful display of loneliness and pain.

[Jenny Nelson]

Well described emotion. Strong emotion. Great write to convey regret, need, and consequences all in one piece.

[The Analog Kid]

I like the "wounds" motif. This is the style I like to write in. Very deep. I can see myself writing something similar:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Some wounds will never heal. Poem is sad and tells a powerful story of love lost and still needed in a life. A excellent poem. You told a complete story.
Coyote

[ICE]

Lovely write!

[Subjective Sanity]

Well said. Beautiful! : )