THE ASTROMATES... Chapter 2...Part 1.

A continuation of my book.

CHAPTER TWO.

THE ARIES EXPERIENCE.

At last, it was Thursday and I met it with an air of great expectancy. Polished and pressed, I presented myself to my old friend and new boss, Alexo. The office seemed to be in a worse state than before, with Alexo sitting in his chair exactly as I’d left him. Perhaps the desk served as a bed at night, the paper, a crumpled pillow. Alexo eyed my polished appearance with some appreciation, even leaning over the top of the desk to eye my shiny shoes. Nodding approval, he reclaimed his seat, waving me down to sit opposite him.
"How are you, old chap?" he queried.
"As good as any bloke about to get his oats." I replied.
He grimaced at my coarseness, Alexo had pretty high standards for an old con-man.
"Some time soon, we’ll have to have a chat about etiquette." he said grandly. "But for now, we’ll just have to get on with the job in hand."
To be honest I was hoping some little lady would have my ‘Job’ in hand. Saying nothing, I drew myself up and placed the two books he had leant me in front of him.
"What did you do, have your breakfast off them?" he asked, indicating the yellowing egg-stains.
"Sorry about that Alexo, but I spent a lot of time reading those books. Very interesting stuff, very magical."
Alexo eyed me suspiciously, gauging my seriousness. My face was set in concrete.
"Don’t forget, I’ll be paying for your time so I hope you did put some time in."
Bloody cheek! He hadn’t paid me a penny yet. I nearly said so but held my tongue, instead I said… "I read every minute of every day."
Alexo tried to search beyond my inscrutability and failed.
"Go on then, my boy, show me a bit of your magic."
I smiled confidently, accepting his challenge. Taking a deep breath, I let rip.
"Aries, ruled by Mars. Taurus, ruled by Venus. Gemini, ruled by Mercury. Cancer, ruled by Moon. Leo, ruled by Sun. Virgo, ruled by Mercury. Libra, ruled by Venus. Scorpio, ruled by Pluto. Sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter. Capricorn, ruled by Saturn. Aquarius, ruled by Uranus. Pisces, ruled by Neptune… There!" I finished, the breath wheezing out of me.
Alexo stood up to clap out his applause.
"Great!", he cried. "Bravo!" Then he spoiled it by saying… "But remember, any child can recite its two-times-table."
Talk about put a dampener on things. The grand-master put the books away in the drawer and pulled out a folder.
"This." he said, tapping the folder. "Is your first Astromate. She’s an Aries, obviously. Thirty-two years old. Single. Her name’s Lilly Specs."
"Lilly Specs? You’re kidding!" I exclaimed, trying to read the upside down writing.
Alexo turned the folder round so I could see the particulars for myself.
"You sure it’s not a duff name? I’ve never heard of…"
Alexo pulled the folder back and snapped it shut.
"Look." he said angrily. "I don’t care if her name’s bloody Lilly Savage as long as she pays the joining-up fee."
"Yea… And it’ll be just my luck to get her, too. Got a photo?"
"Nope."
Alexos’ blue eyes had a crackle in them. I must admit I liked to ruffle his feathers now and again.
"Are you going to be serious about this!"
"All ears, Alex, all ears."
"Right then.".
Mollified and wiping his eyes with a tissue, he continued…"Last night, I informed Miss Specs that you, Richard Kimble, would be meeting her at eight o’clock tonight at the Twilight Wine Bar in Blackheath. She will be carrying a recent copy of the ‘Prediction’ magazine. Now, have you got that?"
"Clear as a bell, Alexo. What will I be carrying?"
Alexo sighed in weary frustration.
"It’s not a Cary Grant movie. You don’t need to carry anything. Just look for the lady who carries the magazine. Right?"
"I’ve got it, Alexo."
"You’ve got to use your imagination when dealing with these ladies, dear boy. These ladies are all hand-picked, all in a similar age-bracket, mostly divorced or separated."
Except for Lilly Specs, I thought.
"What Sun-Sign am I supposed to be? I’ve got to have some kind of details under my belt."
"I was just about to tell you that, once you were prepared to listen. For your date with Lilly Specs, you will have to be a Sagittarian and…"
"But I’m not…"
I stopped, Alexos’ stern glare cutting me short.
"I know you’re not a bloody Sagittarian! It doesn’t matter what flaming Sun-Sign you really are! For the purpose of this date, you’re a Sagittarian and that’s final." Alexo finalised.
"But I’m a Libran." I muttered.
Saying I was another Sun-Sign was like… Well, like being taken away from your mothers’ breast at birth, or having someone steal your psychological identity.
"I appreciate your concern, your deeper feelings, old chum but you do have remember you have to be ideally suited to the lady’s Birth-Chart. She’s an Aries and you’re a Sagittarian, both Fire-Signs… Right?"
Alexo could see I was still concerned about losing my birthright. He became stern.
"Look, all you have to do is steer any conversation away from Astrology. Let her do the thinking and talking, Just try to look intelligent."
I nodded glumly. I had been reprimanded by the headmaster.
"You silly chump-pot." said Alexo on a lighter note. "Just remember the ‘Jollybags’"
Remember them! I had three assorted packets tucked away in the inside pocket of my jacket. Well, two and two-thirds actually. I had tested one of them for size (The one with the spiky teat.) and my hand had got carried away! Still, I patted my pocket for luck. Alexo looked at his watch, concluding there was still plenty of time to give me some further instruction before the ‘Off’.
"Right." he said. "Shall we discuss the basic nature of the Aries female before you leave?"
Why ask me? I mean, he’s the one with the intellect, the Astrological savvy. I shrugged.
"It’s best you go prepared." he assured me.
"Like a boy-scout." I replied.
"Aries." he began. "Is known as the Ram…"
"I know! I know!" I interjected, holding my hand up like a naughty schoolboy. "It’s because Aries always has the horn!"
"As I said, Aries is known as the Ram." continued Alexo, overriding me, eyes warning against another outburst.
"We get the words ‘Rambunctious’ and ‘Ram-raid’ from the actions of the Arian behaviour, to go in head-first without being aware of the consequences. You’ll often see this Martian action when first coming into contact with the male, butting in and being the ‘Action-Man’. But the female of the species is so much softer than her male counterpart. One may consider her to be the ‘Lamb’, the lady who may simply make sheep’s’ eyes at a male rather than get stuck right in."
"So she’s not out to fleece anyone?"
Alexo groaned at my little quip before carrying on.
"But you must still be aware of the mettle inside the sheep's clothing, the fiery nature and will of iron. Do not be misled by her apparent easy-going nature on your first meeting, otherwise you may well get led by the lamb, not to the slaughter but up to the alter!"
Oh, my God! Alexo had made a little pun. I smiled in acknowledgement.
"The Aries maiden can be accident-prone at times, she acts on impulse and likes to get things done as soon as possible. Never one to hang about, there are times when she needs someone behind her to clear up the mess. She’s always on the go, plenty of energy to burn, you see."
I had to stop his lecture somehow. These office chairs were not made for easy sitting. I decided on flippancy.
"Supposing this Lilly Specs is the Black Sheep of the family?" I asked.
"Be serious, old bean" said Alexo, wearily shaking his head before saying… "One more thing I feel I ought to mention."
I begged him, in my mind, not to mention anything else but being no mind-reader, he carried on… "You might find your date somewhat undecided as to whether she’ll stay or not. It’s often the case with all the horned animals of the Zodiac, Aries the Ram, Taurus the Bull and Capricorn the Goat. They tend to be caught on the ‘Horns of a dilemma’. They might well jump off on mind-changing tracks. So be aware of such changes."
"Supposing Lilly Specs asks me what I work at?" I asked, changing the subject. I’d had enough of Rams, Goats and Bullocks by now. I needed to be off!
"I can’t very well say I’m on the dole, can I?"
"But you are working, old chap. You’re working for me. Tell anyone who asks you that you’re a researcher. That’s it, a freelance researcher! It’s true enough, isn’t it?"
I quite liked the idea of me being a freelance researcher, it sounded really professional.
"Do I use my real name, or what?"
"Bloody hell! You’ll be giving them your real address next. No, you do not give them your real name. Remember… Your name is Richard Kimble!"
"And cash?" I held out my hand.
Alexo took out a tired-looking wallet and turned his back before coming round with two ten-pound notes.
"Is that all?" I said. "When’s the last time you took a bird out?"
"That’s all I can afford." said Alexo, peering into the wallet before stuffing it back into his pocket.
I nestled the notes next to the ‘Jollybags’. Still I thought, it was better than a kick up the jacksy. With a bit of luck it might only take a couple of glasses before bedtime.
"What’s the name of the place again?"
"Here." Alexo handed me a piece of paper. "I’ve written it down so you don’t forget."
I read the note.
"Lilly Specs. The Twilight Bar. Blackheath. Eight o’clock. Prediction magazine.."
Alexo heaved his trusty old typewriter onto the desk, scattering paper everywhere and began dab-dabbing with one finger.
"Don’t forget." he said over the noise. "I’ll want a full report on the date as soon as pos."
"I wont forget, Alexo. I’ll even throw in the dirty bits for free."
I left him dab-dabbing as I hit the street