THE ASTROMATES... Chater 3...Part 1.

A continuation of my book.

CHAPTER THREE.

THE TAURUS EXPERIENCE.

It was a week before Alexo saw me again. Despite his frantic letter-writing and phone-calls, I refused to budge from my bed until I’d convalesced my wrack-torn body. It was with pale-faced prospect that I seated myself opposite Alexo to recount the exhausting experience had during my Aries date.
"If you ever try to fix me up with another bloody Annie Robinson look-alike, then I’m off! And sod your Astromates lark." I told him.
He switched off the Dictaphone, making frantic shushing noises to shut me up.
"It was just one of those things." he said.
"Yea, just one of those crazy things." I finished off for him in the words of Frank Sinatra.
"I assure you, it wont happen again." he promised, bringing out a new folder from the desk-drawer. I could make out the words ‘TAURUS’ stamped on the cover.
"It’s time to take the ‘BULL’ by the horns." he announced.
I sighed. I might as well listen to him now that I’d made it this far.
"There’s an easy way to test a Taurean lady." he began, pushing bony fingers through greying hair.
"Go on then." I challenged. "Do tell."
"Just ask one to lend you some capital." he said with a smile.
"Christ! Even my own mother wouldn’t lend me any money and she’s not a Taurean!" I exclaimed.
"That’s because you never pay her back and she knows it." Alexo replied.
Bleeding cheek! It may be true but how does he know? Shrugging off thoughts of rebukes, I said… "Anyway, what if it’s the boyfriend? You mean to tell me a Taurean lady wouldn’t lend her boyfriend some dosh?"
"Ah.", said Alexo. "Now, that’s different. You’re jumping to conclusions as usual."
"So she would lend her boyfriend some cash?" I teased.
Alexo took me seriously.
"Let me put it this way." settling himself down for a long spiel. "If anyone asks a Taurean lady for a loan, this includes boyfriends, she will never give a direct answer. She would need time to think, to reckon up whether she’ll get her money back. Plus she’ll need time to consider how much interest will be lost whilst the money is out of the bank."
"Well, that sounds bleeding mean." I said.
"No, not mean, just sound good business sense and a practical approach to all things material."
"It still sounds like my Banker talking." I muttered.
"Taureans make good Bankers and Estate-Agents." Alexo sniffed. "And, anyway, when’s the last time you had a bank-account?"
"About the same time you last robbed one!" I retorted.
Water of a ducks’ back, not even a smile or a crackle of rebuke in those watery blue eyes.
"Let’s just get on with it." he said tiredly.
Sad git, no sense of fun! I decided to test him a bit more, well, not so much a test exactly, it was a question which had been niggling at my brain for some time since I began taking this Astrology malarkey seriously.
"One question Alexo, before we continue, well, two actually."
Alexo raised his eyebrows, spurring me on with a hand-gesture.
"You know Taurus is ruled by the Planet Venus, right?"
"Right." said Alexo slowly, as if expecting some ribald joke.
"Well how come Libra is ruled by the same planet, Venus. Doesn’t it make them the same?"
Alexos’ eyebrows raised even higher at this unexpected intelligence.
"A very good question, my discerning friend." he said.
I waited for an answer, almost seeing his brain tick as he looked skywards. Then he said… "Let’s put it this way; if you took both, the Taurean lady and the Libran to the Tate gallery and showed them a Gainsborough. Each would perceive it in a different light. Remember, your Libran is an Air-Sign. She would see the beauty and harmony in the picture, see it as a talking point. Now your Taurean lady would also judge the picture for its beauty although the question on her lips would be… ‘How much does it cost? And will it increase in value over time?’ Have you got it? The Taurean is far more practical and down to earth when it comes to judgment."
I must admit I didn’t gain all the sense of what Alexo told me but I nodded just the same. I find nodding a very endearing quality when ignorance is bliss.
"Fair enough." I commented. "But what about Gemini and Virgo? Both these planets are ruled by Mercury, so what gives?"
"My, my. You have been a busy little beaver, haven’t you? The brain gets even larger."
Seeing my look of distain, he decided to wise me up.
"If you took both, the Gemini and Virgo ladies to the British Library and set them free to choose any book they fancied… Are you with me so far?"
I nodded. Alex carried on.
"The Gemini will pick out a travel book, or some other lightweight novel, read the ending first, flick through the middle and end at the start, before picking out another book. The Virgo, meanwhile, will pick out a car-maintenance book, check it for any grammatical errors first, make lots of notes from it then put it back from whence it came before going out to find a job as a car-mechanic."
Alexo leaned back on his laurels. Here again, I didn’t quite grasp the logic. My fault for asking but still, I kept my head wisely nodding and wisely let him continue.
"Now we have that little lot sorted out, perhaps we can get on with the business in hand."
I sat myself to attention.
"If you remember, going back to the Aries female, I told you to look for the softer version of the Ram, the female being the ‘Lamb’"
You’re joking, I thought. I remember only too well!
"Well the Taurean male is considered to be the Bull, bull-headed and stubborn, a ‘Raging Bull’ if you get on the wrong side of him. But the female, now that’s a different story. She’s…"
"I get it!" I interjected. "She’s a lazy cow!".
Alexo tipped his chair back before placing both hands behind his neck, eyes closed, thin lipped. After some time, he said, "You really are bloody hard work, d’you know that?"
I agreed, eyes downcast, contrite.
"The lady Taurean." said Alexo, after taking his time to settle himself down. "Is far more passive. She likes to take her time over things. She’s not impulsive and has an eye for a good bargain. She likes to ‘Chew the cud’, as it were, ruminate before making decisions, practical-minded. She can be possessive and can, at times, suffer from financial insecurity, which is why she likes to hang onto things. You’d have a fight on your hands if you tried to take away any of the lady’s possessions. There’s a lot of passion with this lady and she is very much into joint-partnerships, as long as the partner is someone she trusts. The lady is into a balanced relationship, but not at any price. Mess her about and you will pay dear, believe me."
This Taurean woman sounded quite a complex cow but, no worries, Richard Kimble could operate in any kind of situation. My anxiety, caused by the last Astrodate, disappeared as I prepared myself for another stab at procuring a bed for the night.
Alexo opened the folder.
"Her name is Carol Forsen. She’s thirty-six. Recently divorced. One child. Likes to eat out and cuddle up at home."
I wrinkled my nose. I wasn’t into kids much. I’d been one once and didn’t get on with myself then! However, I liked the reference to ‘Cuddling up at home’.
"Where’s the meet?" I asked.
Alexo handed me a piece of paper with the name and address of a restaurant in Greenwich.
"I will contact the lady and arrange a meeting with you for Thursday evening at eight o’clock. That should give you plenty of time to make yourself presentable."
He had some front, I’ll give him that!
"Cash!" I demanded, wiping the smile from his face. He sighed deeply, as he always did when taking the tatty wallet out from his jacket.
"Twenty pounds! Are you kidding me!" I exclaimed, staring at the note he had placed in my hand.
"What do you expect me to do? Take her to a ‘Pie-And-Mash shop? Get her a bowl of jellied eels?"
It was obvious, Alexo had not eaten out for many years.
"Well, how much do you think it will it cost?" he wailed, with the face of a miserable sinner.
"At least fifty quid, Alexo." I replied.
"Fifty quid!" came the strangulated scream, which stretched every vein in his neck, eyes wide as saucers.
"I can get a months supply of food." he managed to get out at last.
"Well, you could always change the meeting." I smoothed. "Suggest to her that I meet her at her place, where she can cook me a meal before we hit the sack."