numb my pain

How I'm feeling now.

It kicked in like a pill and I'm waiting to heal
Time is passing, why do I still feel ill?
Numb my pain I don't want to feel
Is this a dream it can't be real
It's moving in closer like a predator on prey
I see it coming, but I can't run away
I been caught like a animal in a cage
My heart starts to boil, feel my rage
My life is a book, but the chapters are not in order
Their is no warmth in my life everything is just colder
I lost my friend along with my heart
Unlike my shadow they left me in the dark
Can this pill numb me faster? I can't take this pain
I been thrown in the gutter and left with this stain
I'm trying to find my way like a tourist in a city
I'm in no mood for games but my mind insits on playing with me
If money really is time I would be broke
I haven't moved a inch since i been on this road
I travel alone,but haven't gotten far
I tried to make it down the road before my life got dark
I am art but not up for sell
I won't let you buy me just so you can stab me with your nail
After all of the things you have put me through
Not even the stars will shine for you
I thought you will be here through the monsoon
But without you my sky was still blue
Still I have scars, must numb my pain
I coudnt change if I tried I will forever remain the same
Look at my scars, once upon a time they bled
It was so much blood, I thought my soul would be dead
I screamed so loud but no one heard my yells
I am caged and my mind is my jail
Bars surrounded my heart, no one gets in
Numb my pain faster I'm feeling hurt again
Even though the pain will be their at least I won't feel
Soon my cuts will be scars, to show how much I healed
I know never to trust, people where a mask
To convice you they are worthy like reading an ad
I been hurt so much I'm use to the feeling
I always wondered what's it like to smile as big as the celling
Maybe one day in the future I will be able to know
Until then I will be healing from all of my blows.