"Bang Bang", said Mr. Gun

I wrote a poem about abuse. Abuse leads to many things. But what all victims hope for is death.

Shaking in a corner

His body closing in

Swinging his giant fists at me

I know I'll never win

Crying out my tear drops

Egging his violence on

Screaming with every kick and punch

I'm already half way gone

Begging for death to find me

To end this violent rampage

I think of what it could really mean

His eyes wild and crazed

One last blow should end it all

But death has ceased to come

Curled into one tight ball

Hoping I'll be gone

The hardest punch, the last one

Until the gunshots blow my head

Bang Bang Bang said Mr. Gun

Death has let it end

Author's Note

This is Dedicated to Wildcat. He inspired this with his poem, "A Candle For Peter"

Reviews

[John Morris]

This is great you just missed out on the top spot. You were going to win it for a long while.

Well done though you beat 21 other competitors to the top 3. Great write.

[Nish Nish the Fish]

With every poem i read of yours, im compelled to read more! you have a very unique way of writing, which seems like how i write, because you seem to polish your meanings to sound very "pretty" and well done, i strive to do that myself. i invite you to read my writing and give me any advice!
Thanks so much for sharing :)

[Anita B Jacques]

I like it, a great and sad write, smooth and visual. Yes I believe a battered woman would go through the same emotions, imagine what mental abuse feels like, Maybe your next poem...God Bless you. You can read my stuff anytime (Not as good as you).You have talent, keep them coming.
Hugs

[Ezrael]

Amazing use of words! I agree with Jason, you can really see what's going (and almost can feel it) and in such a short piece. Good luck in the contest. :3

-E.W

[Ezrael]

Amazing use of words! I agree with Jason, you can really see what's going (and almost can feel it) and in such a short piece. Good luck in the contest. :3

-E.W

[Jason]

this was an awsome write! you fit alot of images into a short piece which I find FANTASTIC! ( why use ten words when three will do?)



"Crying out my tear drops

Egging his violence on

Screaming with every kick and punch

I'm already half way gone

Begging for death to find me..."


Thanks