Brown Eyes

BROWN EYES

 

These brown eyes are

Filled with sorrow.

These brown eyes are

Filled with pain.

No one knows

who I am.

And no one knows

My name.

I poured out my heart

And showed u my soul

But the real me,

You may never know.

I’ll give you my heart,

If you promise not to break it.

Please don’t drop it,

And swear not to shake it.

Its very fragile,

You see?

And besides the point,

It’s a part of me.

 

Reviews

[Crayon]

This is pretty well done. The writing is well done and the emotion is real. We allfeel like we are alone, and heart broken some of the time. Really well done. My only suggestion is that in the tenth line you say "u" instead of "you". Other than that good job, and I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future. :)

[cfix]

Very nicely and neatly done! I like it, your emotion flows so well.
I like this. You show talent and creativeness.

[Genesis]

I think this is great^^
I like the part where is says:
I poured out my heart
And showed u my soul
But the real me,
You may never know.
I’ll give you my heart,
If you promise not to break it.
Please don’t drop it,
And swear not to shake it.
Great Job^^