Roberts room - coming out

very short story on childhood exploration

Robert lay on his bed. Beams of light that ripped through the curtain gap highlighted the dancing dust; he pushed slowly through the air with his loose right hand and watched the subsequent scrambling and rushing of particles that his action had caused. He turned his head and kissed his pillow, burying his face in its softness. It smelt of sleep and May heat dreams.

 

His room was large and sparsely decorated. Having only recently moved following the death of his grandmother, his parents hadn’t yet paraded Robert through a hot sticky furniture store, ignoring his obvious and relentless decision not to look from his grubby trainers, permitting him with wide smiles to choose his own ‘new room’ fillings; no that joy was three days from now.

The room, at present, consisted of a single bed made of cheap wood, two of the boards were broken causing the mattress to sink in the middle, a chest of drawers with a number of faded stickers, none of which were recognisable to Robert, a folded chair against the opposite wall, and a photo frame on the mantelpiece over the fireplace. The fireplace contained a peak of a sleeve belonging to one of two wool jumpers stuffed into the chimney. The jumpers belonged to Roberts great uncle jack whom had died of drowning after satisfying his superiority by beating his wife, Jackie, with his favourite leather belt, he often boated after such a successful affirmation of home rule.

 

Robert pulled the grey cover back and climbed under. Sitting up legs folded under the blanket he made popping noises by pressing his lips together and pulling them apart quickly. He surveyed the outline of the fireplace through the semi-opaque thin grey; the taste of summer heat was heavy in his mouth. The silver frame upon the mantelpiece glinted and formed a star through a pinhole in the blanked. Robert blinked from eye to eye, the star jumping back to life with his left eye open and dying with his right, the face in the frame, of a man not known to Robert as it came with the frame, was not visible through his hide away. The heat in the bed hut was becoming uncomfortable so he stripped to his socks; he lifted the base of the blanket and with glee began to throw the slightly damp shorts, underwear, and t-shirt to the floor.

He took great pleasure in ignoring his mother’s plea to leave his dirty laundry in the clothesbasket in the adjacent bathroom. He poked a finger in his bellybutton and grimaced at the bitter taste of in on his tongue. The sun outside dimmed and his lightly illuminated outlined world vanished.

The dust no longer danced and the Silver Star vanished, no matter which eye he closed or squinted through. The grey drab cover felt rough on his back skin, he pulled it over his head, resting it on his lap, and sat, hands folded on blanket like a young Buddhist monk in meditation.

 

Outside a car was starting up.

 

The stickers on the drawers looked even older in the dim light, he decided he would scrape them off with a knife later and ask if he could paint the drawers in red. He sighed and looked around the room for anything to occupy his boredom, the face in the frame caught his eye, a grey faced man, with grey hair, and a tight grey polo shirt stood, from the grey chest up, in an open space with a bright grey sun and cloudless grey sky, smiling towards the photographer. He had large arms and a chiselled jaw. Robert imagined the grey man smiling as he picked him up into his grey world, holding him strong and beaming at him with handsome maturity. They both shared a mutual interest in disturbing their mother’s rigid cleaning practises. Cheeks blushed and eyes glazed. His hand lowered under the rough blanket and Roberts mind entered a hidden world. A world to be visited many times, once entranced by the smile of a handsome man.

Author's Note

May be expanded into a longer piece

Reviews

[xX-tito24-Xx]

Amazing content and the amazingly well-written, but as others have said before me, try split it up into paragraphs, also, where you say "may be expanded into a longer piece", I think that would be a great idea. I'd love to read more, or if not an expansion of this piece, just a longer piece of writing in general.

Your style of writing is entrancing and definitely makes this a pleasure to read, and your skills a writer are immense... Keep on writing, am eager to see more of your work :)

[Amund Schofield]

Ok... I haven't read it yet, and the uber huge paragraph is making me want to go read something else. So yea please, please change that. Also when you have him thinking of painting his dresser, you wrote "ask if he could paint the drawers in red." This sentence doesn't make sense, well it does, its the part "in red." that bugs me. I would remove the "in" and leave it as "drawers red."

This story is a very well written piece. It has good description, and doesn't make a big deal out of his sexuality. I like that. I just wish it wasn't just one big paragraph. Please change that bit.

[Cassya77]

You should expand this :D it's really good! I like your detail in the room, it might help to elaborate on the size and location in the house though, i kept picturing him, I'm not sure why, on the second floor of a house.... but thats not your fault. He seems like an interesting boy you could probably even make many short stories about him.

[frogbean]

this is my favorite part


Robert lay on his bed. Beams of light that ripped through the curtain gap highlighted the dancing dust; he pushed slowly through the air with his loose right hand and watched the subsequent scrambling and rushing of particles that his action had caused. He turned his head and kissed his pillow, burying his face in its softness. It smelt of sleep and May heat dreams. His room was large and sparsely decorated. Having only recently moved following the death of his grandmother, his parents hadn't yet paraded Robert through a hot sticky furniture store, ignoring his obvious and relentless decision not to look from his grubby trainers, permitting him with wide smiles to choose his own 'new room' away. The heat in the bed hut was becoming uncomfortable so he stripped to his socks; he lifted the base of the blanket and with glee began to throw the slightly damp shorts, underwear, and t-shirt to the floor. He took great pleasure in ignoring his mother's plea to leave his dirty laundry in the clothesbasket in the adjacent bathroom. He poked a finger in his bellybutton and grimaced at the bitter taste of in on his tongue. The sun outside dimmed and his lightly illuminated outlined world vanished. The dust no longer danced and the Silver Star vanished, no matter which eye he closed or squinted through. The grey drab cover felt rough on his back skin, he pulled it over his head, resting it on his lap, and sat, hands folded on blanket like a young Buddhist monk in meditation. Outside a car was starting up. The stickers on the drawers looked even older in the dim light, he decided he would scrape them off with a knife later and ask if he could paint the drawers in red. He sighed and looked around the room for anything to occupy his boredom, the face in the frame caught his eye, a grey faced man, with grey hair, and a tight grey polo shirt stood, from the grey chest up, in an open space with a bright grey sun and cloudless grey sky, smiling towards the photographer. He had large arms and a chiselled jaw. Robert imagined the grey man smiling as he picked him up into his grey world, holding him strong and beaming at him with handsome maturity. They both shared a mutual interest in disturbing their mother's rigid cleaning practises. Cheeks blushed and eyes glazed. His hand lowered under the rough blanket and Roberts mind entered a hidden world. A world to be visited many times, once entranced by the smile of a handsome man.


i like it all it is amazing