RAIN IN THE HILLS

ITS A POEM I WROTE WHILE OBSEVING A RAINY DAY ON HILLS

IN THE HUSHED SILENCE OF THE HOUSE

WHEN I AM QUIET ALONE, AND MY FRIEND, WHO WAS HERE,

HAS GONE, IT IS VERY LONELY, VERY QUIET,

AS I SIT IN A LIQUID SILENCE, A SILENCE WITHIN,

SURRONDED BY RYTHM OF RAIN

THE STEADY DRIFT

OF WATER ON LEAVES, ON LEMONS, ON ROOF,

DRUMMING ON DRENCHED DAHLIAS AND WINDOW PANES,

WHILE THE MIST HOLDS THE HOUSE IN A DARK CARESS.

AS I PAUSE NEAR A WINDOW, THE RAIN STOPS.

AND START AGAIN.

AND THE TREES, NO LONGER GREEN BUT GREY,

MENACE ME WITH THEIR LONELINESS.

Reviews

[prashant]

thanks anna.i will try to upgraade my works

[Anna]

This was very well done. You have a poetical sense that is difficult to find in this community. However, I would suggest a few grammar checks and maybe write in lower case letters. But overall, very nice. Write more like these. This community needs you.

[Nessly]

This paints a picture of being utterly alone and in deep despair. Discussing friends once there but are no longer gives way to some terrible tragedy that has befallen the narrator. Vivid imagery throughout.

[prashant]

thnx nessly .your comments are really valuable to me

[iamshadowine]

this is a great piece of poetry! lovely job! but i guess you misspelled 'rhythm' and instead wrote 'rythm'.....
keep writing :D

[prashant]

thanks my highness .plz always help me like this for removing my errors

[iamshadowine]

definitely! :)

[prashant]

plz cmmnt o my other poem also