happily ever after:)

small story sorta a thing i came up:)

Their lied a broken heart in the pink valley,

Its belonged to the gal named sally,

She tried to fix it diagonally,

Nothing worked, she gave up hope partially,

 

She was sitting by the window in the daylight,

Figured out a stranger came by the sight,

He fell head over heels for her, dear mate,

She was a bit cold and numb from inside.

 

He told I love you till the last breath of mine,

She said no point, I am all broken inside,

He said I will fix it all just give me a try,

She said ma numbness isn't going to fade.

 

All he said fixed her heart and changed her,

I will wait till the end cause I know how you feel,

My heart is yours and will be yours forever,

Wont force, will wait for you to see love in my eyes.

 

She gave it a chance she din break his heart,

He too was a gem of a person in love with her,

Who cared for she, he got smiles and laughter,

And then on they lived happily ever after...

 

Author's Note

please feel free to give your reviews and correct me if there is any mistakes in my write:)

Reviews

[Nath]

The story in this poem shows very well why you should never give up and sit around sulking, because if only you give something a shot, the outcome might be wonderful, as is here.
Overall a really nice piece, although grammar, spelling and punctuation could be improved a little, but those take away nothing of the poem's meaning.
Good job :-)

[Ben]

It's nice.

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Desires and devotion of Love expresed vividly in this poem.........

[GridLok]

It's good to see you the progress you've already made in providing a clear structure to your poem.

[Jeremy Haynes]

Very good, all you need to do is fix some spelliing

[Dayran]

An appealing sensation of two people trying again to rediscover themselves in a relationship. There are few things more endearing than that in today's world. Its the germination of life after a forest fire.

[Dove]

This is a very nice poem and i know i always say it but i enjoyed reading this piece. I really do love your writing so please never stop.