If only you could understand

A Story by Kate

My dear sweet Lover,

I am so sorry for bringing you into a relationship unfairly. You deserve so much better than what I can offer you. You're a kind, sweet, gentle, loving man and I don't deserve you. You came into my life when I was falling apart and the truth is I still am. I never got over him. I don't know if I ever will. Today i stayed after church because I feel that my sins weigh me down, I snapped and needed someone to talk to because I still love him. Even after everything I still do. I can't explain it but when I am with him it's different. But Bryce our love is different!!It's not like Alex's and mine. I think I am bound to him because I gave myself to him, and I broke off a part of my soul, a part that I can never get back. After talking to the pasture I wrote Alex a letter confessing all my thoughts and I want you to read it. It's going to be hard for you, I know that. But I pray that we can work through this because I am hurting myself by keeping both of you in my heart. I am torn to shreds and I hate it. I prayed so much today and I feel that by sharing my true deep dark feelings with you we can grow as a couple and heal the wounds. I’m so sorry that you got my baggage because you love me. it's not fair to you but I want to be honest with you. We can not move on without honesty ,I truly believe this. I want to be friends with him one day because there was a time when we were. You're going to be angry but you need to know what my heart feels. But Bryce I choose you. I LOVE you so much in a love that is bound by Christ not by physical lust. So here is the letter I wrote to him. Please don't be too mad i want you to read it because I feel that I a killing all three of us because I need to let go of him and this is how I am doing it. Bryce I will ALWAYS love you no matter how much you hate me after you read this. i hope you don't break up with me because i know that now is our time. I Love you in a way I could never love him...