Instead of Mutiny

A Story by Jofer Serapio

Old article from High School

Mutiny. A word with synonyms such as rebellion, revolt, sedition, uprising, insubordination, defiance, recalcitrance, revolution, and others which were not found in Microsoft Word’s thesaurus. Like a coin, it has two sides. Like twins, it’s irresistibly sinful.

Come on. Don’t tell me you’ve never dreamed of mutiny, of going up against your oppressor, of going up against your older brother or sister and taking back what’s rightfully yours, the remote control.

My point is YOU want recalcitrance. In this chaotic era of ours, of problems whenever you look, its normal to dream of being heroic and killing, I mean, going up against your boss. YOU’re only problem is that YOU think it will be tedious, not to mention socially degrading, which is both true. Wuss!

Lucky for you, I have tips to help you get the sympathy, a very powerful weapon in spreading propaganda and getting out of hell, of the many without actually degrading yourself, much.. Just follow the following plans:

Plan A. Get a pimp with influence just like [insert name of most influencial person to you here]. In my point of view, ABS-CBN would clearly be the pimp you’d be looking for. It’s the national pimp, people. The only problem is that since you’re a nobdy in the newsworthy world, it make time some before ABS-CBN takes notice of you. On to plan B then.

Plan B. Since sports heroes are the latest fad these days, why not venture into it. Pick a sport, imitate Manny Pacquiao and your on the way. Never pick undercard sports events though. You’d be vanish fast just like Hero Angeles.

Plan C. If Plan B didn’t work, then you’ve clearly sucked at whatever sport you picked. Wimp! So, instead of sweating like a pig with Plan B’s tedious activity, just join Pinoy Big Brother Mental Patients Edition. It’d be an easier way to get attention. The problem is, knowing you, you’d be evicted even before you land your second step in kuya’s house.

Plan D. This is the least plan you’ll want to accept. It’s full of danger, mystery, and people together in one big place without any understanding of what they’re doing there. That’s right, it’s politics. You first have to be a Senator, then find any rubbish about the government, denounce it and usurp the Presidential throne.

Plan D might be the most tedious plan but it’s also the mostfamed. Don’t get too comfortable about your Presidency when you successfully finish Plan D, though. Eventually, someone, a crackpot who has been reading this article, will dethrone you for the pointless taunt of overcoming stress in this era.

A simpler way to put all of this would be to just try coping with stress or containing it inside you until the right time comes. By the right time I mean when the world will be run by cockroaches.

While waiting why not enjoy our Filipino taste for soap operas, your choice of Tagalog, Korean, Mexican, or Politics. However, I don’t recommend watching mindless reality TV shows and voting for airheads into any office. Since we can’t differentiate between popularity and intelligence, we neveer learn. That’s how the cockroaches will dethrone us.