Not All Things Are In Reach

I sit here in front of my desk. My pen is in hand and I wait for my inspiration to stumble upon me. Yet try as I may I cannot find what is needed to craft my story. I have stumbled upon on spot of bad luck that has lasted since mid winter. For whatever reason I thought I could climb a sheer cliff with nothing but my hands. I thought I could fly into space by simply jumping. I thought I could explore the Marianas trench with naught but holding my breath. Now I know that such things are out of my reach. I know that as much as I swipe at stars that I will never make it outside earth’s stratosphere.

So here I sit. trying to reach someone who if by far my superior. Trying to reach her has been my pursuit for almost ten months now. It is only now that my feeble mind has realized that you need more than a jump to reach the stars. For everything seems so much further from me now. I don’t know how I was able to lie to myself for so long. It is one thing to trust, but once something has extended beyond what the normal parameters of trust are, it has only one classification. Stupidity. 

Now I find myself sitting with an awful feeling throughout my body. I know what should be done in my situation. For the life of me I cannot bring myself forthright to do what must be done. So I look to my friends for help. It is only now that I have fought this  most dangerous of diseases that has pervaded my mind so completely and terribly. I beg for a simple release. A simple erasure of my memory. Though through all I wish for, I still remain here. Sitting before my desk with my pen in my hand. Waiting for something to come along and inspire me to some level of greatness. 

I am a truly pitiful creature. I wait for attention, sitting and waiting for something to make my life more than what it is. Is there truly nothing that comes to us in life. I believe now that we must reach and fight for everything we want to happen. If something comes to us that seems to come naturally. Then it can only be a filthy lie designed to bring our world crashing down around us.