My Fans.

My inspirees'
You keep the light within me
I thank you
No, really I do .
You eyes widen as you view my pieces
For the memories within you releases
Letting a sigh whistle through your taunted tooth gap
Wrap you in soft and smooth silk
Feeding you with my breast milk
Giving you the world
Blessing you with the word
Of the lonesome bird
Who was finally heard
By his low tuned tweet
Rumored to intensingly sweet.

My children.
As much as this sounds in the stereotypic light
My wrist always in excruciating pain
Yet I feel no shame
I apologize for not knowing your name
Thank you for bringing me fame.

Reviews

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

This is a great poem about writing and I think you should submit it to the great Poems About Poems, who just asked me to join. It is perfect for that. It is also a very intimate and honest feeling poem. HA!! The sign whistling through the gap in the teeth made me laugh!! You mother here though, in a kindly way, and it is very effective. Showing mothering love to your fans is a kind way to depict the nurturing of poetry through caring of others. I love this overall theme and overall conception again!! I really think that is a strength you have -in finding just the right overarching idea to frame a poem within. Oddly enough I find not many people do that well, and yet it is so important! "The lonesome bird who was finally heard" is such a great series of simple but perfect lines I am quite unexpectedly delighted! If I can follow that compliment up cruelly with an instant criticism though, may I just say that the line "Rumored to intensingly sweet," just has something wrong with it...A few things really! Intensingly isn't an actual word, and while that is fine in poetry (like I made up the word "ameliorize" in a recent poem) the thing is that I don't really think that even if this were a word, it would mean what you want it to mean here. Do you mean, "Rumored to BE INTENSELY sweet?" The concern I have with this line is that while it is surely creative to invent words, this is an important place in the poem for the reader to feel they have reached a point of conclusion. I think this line would like to be worked on, if its opinion be known. It is not a bad line, just not fully developed. It isn't quite a Jedi yet...It should complete the training. These end lines are also good conclusion, but feel more like epilogue. I know the pain of the wrist and the forgetting of names. We are certainly both compatriots in that, so may I hope to lend you whatever fame my review can bring, and let me humbly say I am a fan.

[Julie Spade]

I am glad to know that you find this piece somewhat funny and warm for it gives a huge smile on my face! I understand your concern for the bird stanza , It confused me as well as my finger tips have a mind of their own.. I purposely made up that word to emphasis how much of a large impact (the birds tweeting) my fans actually have! Spelling it incorrectly also shows that we as humans make mistakes as well as harmless animals like a bird ! I apologize for confusing you or anything.. Mind you that the most universal substance such as "Brest milk" "birds" "tooth gaps" and finally " excruciating pain" always always ALWAYS have a significance within my story and preaches out a different meaning . I can not thank you enough on how you have supported me , looking at my pieces and critiquing it in a blunt way (which I like ) ! From the bottom of my heart , I am looking forward for your concerns and comments! Thank you for being my fan it truly is an honour .

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Your finger tips having a mind of their own is a great analogy for good writing though. If your fingers know how to do this on their own, you are truly endowed with the magic touch of gold like King Midas. Don't lose it. Real talent, when it flows, has a life of its own. It shows. It is in honesty and putting yourself really out there that the greatest words reside, waiting for you to pluck their succulent fruit. Don't be afraid to grasp that moment of momentous energy. Using purposely invented words is a good device. I have not seen it before. Maybe I will rethink that. Quite clever, and again you impress me with your originality and creative spark. The more angles you come at a poem with, the better it will keep getting, and you seem to know this intuitively! Yeah, a bird is a great animal to use because they can be both unexpectedly clever (like crows) or surprisingly bird-brained and resilient to our superior attitude as humans about them. Good use of symbols well-chosen is a great talent. F. Scott Fitzgerald had that kind of originality of symbolism, and look where it got him -into every high school English class in America! Keep doing it! No need to apologize for confusing me. I just need to give you an honest first reaction or I am not doing my job as Reviewer! I will have to read more of your poetry to see the significance of the symbols you use like gaped teeth. Breast milk is always a great symbol. Universal substance, indeed, no one can deny it's meaningfulness. You used it well here. You are earning every ounce of my support. I will keep being blunt as long as you can still take it and know it is done with love! Anyone can say, "It's great!" -and tell you nothing you need to know. When I say, "What the Hell does THIS mean?" -I am trying to let know know I want to really do all I can to support you as an artist. You are a kind and genuine person, so the honor is mutual! Let's keep it up! By the way, I just added more to my poem, Ghetto Sunrise and I am proud of it. A young Tunisian inspired the last four lines. Please tell me what you think when and if you have time!

[Praveeta]

A lovely write creative friend.Thanks for sharing.

[Saddam]

I'm the big fan of PREMCHAND, indian novelist. Now I'm one chapter will be joined.

[The Nude Writer]

Cool imagery :) another winner