My Dog Lucky

A Story by ravencassidy

The heartbreaking true story of when I lost my dog Lucky

When I was growing up I had a dog named Lucky. Lucky was my best friend and sometimes my only friend. My parents both worked and she was the one who was home waiting for me when I got off the school bus. When I would wake up in the morning she would be there to comfort me and see me off to school.  She would follow me to the bus stop, prancing her little feet that looked as if a fox had owned them. As I got on the bus she watched with her motherly eye. I would sit in a torn and frayed seat that wasn't comfortable at all. The only comfort I had was looking outside the dirty scratched bus glass window at my little dog. As the bus drove down the street to pick up more children my little fox dog swiftly followed the bus. My eyes never stopped looking at her. When I would return home from a long and dreary school day she would be there, waiting at the bus stop for me to come home.
Lucky was my protector and my hero. When a bully picked on me and started to steal my belongings Lucky would stand her ground and chase him away. I know a lot of people think all dogs will protect their owners but you see Lucky was not a large dog. If you saw her you would say she was about the size of a fox. Which was very odd since her mother was a full blooded German shepherd and her father was a Norwegian Elkhound. Most people would think Lucky should have been a much larger dog, but you see she was the runt in the litter. Her brother actually lived next door to my house and he was the size of a German shepherd. Lucky was the only female out of a litter of seven. I got her from a family who was selling puppies in front of Shoprite  grocery store. I named her after her big Brother Lucky. She only cost three whole dollars. She was very tiny and had to be fed baby food by spoon. Since I was a little girl my mom had to do this. Lucky was about 20 to 25 lbs full grown she had the stance of an elkhound but the shepherd color. She was the boss of the neighborhood and beat up any other dog that would come her way regardless of size. Lucky thought she was the size of a wolf. I could write a novel on the wonderful seven years I was blessed to spend with my dog but this story isn't about that. It's about the day I lost her and had my heart broken into a thousand pieces. I will never forget December 23 1991 it will forever be a burden in my heart and soul. I still get extremely upset talking about that day. And as the years have passed it still haunts me.
My family was having their annual Christmas office party like they always did every year. I come from a long line of drafters and land surveyors and the office building was adjacent to my home. There I was snacking on all the wonderful cookies and chips. The food was wonderfully laid out and it looked like a wedding reception but without a dance floor or Disc Jockey.
There was Lucky making the rounds waiting for food to fall from hands. I of course always threw her food so she followed me all the time.
My aunt Karen who was my favorite aunt at the time waltz into the back room and announced that she was going last minute Christmas shopping at the Price Club in Holmdel ( which is now Costco). She asked if I wanted to tag along. Now back then when my aunt Karen said jump I jumped. She was my idol. As I jumped off the tall chair I was sitting on Lucky followed at my feet. I didn't mind because she always did that. When my aunt and I walked to her car Lucky thought she was invited because Kodi, my aunt's Golden retriever pup was jumping in the back seat of the puddle jumper (which is what my aunt called her fallen apart nova). Lucky climbed in after Kodi and my aunt grabbed her and made her yelp as she forced her out of the backseat. Now I wasn't too happy with hearing my dog cry but Lucky was always a big baby about things like that. When she had her mind on it she sulked like a three old child when she didn't get her way. I asked my aunt if Lucky could come for the ride. She said that Kodi was being dropped off at her house and no dogs were coming. Now this is when if I had a time machine I would go back and change my stupid thinking decision and save my dog's life. My aunt told me to put Lucky in the house, and I figured I was already in the car and why should I bother to get out when I already have my seatbelt on and all.  Plus Lucky never would leave the property, she was never leashed and I didn't see a point in punishing her just because she wasn't aloud to come for the ride. So I said to my aunt that she would be fine she'll just stay here.
What happened next was a moment in my life that changed my entire path of existence. I truly believe that if I could go back and change that one split decision I would be a completely different person than I am now. As my aunt begged the car not to stall we started to drive toward the stop sign at the end of my road. I peered behind me squinting looking to see if Lucky was following me. I saw her running like the wind after us. I told my aunt that she was coming closer to the car. She stopped at the stop sign and asked me if I wanted her to go left which meant toward highway 36 in Belford. Or right which was toward Belford Park. I didn't see a reason for us to drive out of the way so I told her left. That right there foretold the doom that was to become my dog's fate. I never thought much about it at the time because Lucky always turned back,  I mean when she would follow the school bus she would go right up to the highway and then stop and turn back home. The car drove toward the lighted up highway and my eyes never left the back window searching for a glimpse of my little dog Lucky. I didn't see her so I assumed she turned around and went back home. I was wrong.
When I returned home from shopping at the Price Club I felt an odd gloomy feeling as I walked in the door holding my bag which contained a package of six fresh corn muffins. That was my big purchase at the store. Which now that I think about it is quite ridiculous why did I go in the first place. My dad was sitting on the couch with my mom, the look in my dad's face made my heart drop to the floor, I just felt like the whole world was crumbling all around me. My mom asked to speak to me in the kitchen, fire burned my eyes with acid like tears welling, waiting to flow like a river from my eyes. I slowly walked into the brightly lit kitchen; my face was red with anger. My mom asked me if I'd seen Lucky before I left to go shopping. All I said was she got hit? My mom nodded a silent yes and the acid started to pour hate and anger from my eyes. Hate for my part in the death of my beautiful loyal dog. I was filled with anger for the stupidity in not putting her in the house. Why did this have to happen? As my mother's voice tried to console me my ears became deaf and all I heard was me telling my aunt to go left instead of right which would have given salvation to my dog. I walked into the dimly lit living room where my father was before but now he was gone. He went over to the office to work to keep his mind of the sorrow of losing Lucky. I think I had a nervous breakdown at this point, the walls started to close in on me and everything went black. I fell to the ground in agony screaming Lucky's name. I cried for over an hour straight and my poor mom was a wreck looking at me being so inconsolable. I screamed 'I killed her' over and over again. Tears stained my contorted face. I was changed forever; my body and mind never felt such pain.
Later on I found out what happened to Lucky and the last moments of her life. My dad's friend who was on his way to the office party witnessed the entire demise of my dog. Lucky chased after my aunt's car. Swiftly and as fast as her little body could ,she tried to find me. As she passed the first half of the barrier on the highway the light changed and now the traffic was coming toward her on her right side. She started to go further toward the other side of the barrier when a man traveling probably about fifty to fifty five miles an hour slammed into her. The car hit her so hard and with such force that her lifeless body flew through the air and landed on the other side of the highway, near the other barrier. Which meant Lucky was thrown about fifteen to twenty feet across and about four or five feet in the air.
My best friend, my hero was gone. I feel happy in knowing that she was only thinking of me in her last thoughts. And knowing she didn't suffer or feel pain made me feel a little at ease. But I felt pain, the most unbearable unforgiving pain I have ever felt. I still feel it and as I write this essay tears stream down my face. I will never forget my dog Lucky she still lives inside my heart. I have never forgiven myself for being apart of her death. To this day I still grieve and feel pain. I just wish I could have said goodbye to my best friend but I never got the chance to tell her how much she meant to me.
I think I will live with this regret for the rest of my life.