BF/FB

"Good morning, beautiful."

 

Alex opened her eyes, lifting her brown head slightly. She gasped as she realized she was lying down on a hard, bare chest. She pushed herself up and looked down at the handsome guy grinning at her from underneath. She rolled her eyes at him, then grabbed her head as a wave of dizziness came to her.

 

"I keep telling you," the guy said. "People don't just get out of bed like you do. It's not normal."

 

"Shut up, Ram," Alex said, grabbing a pillow and shoving it on Ram's face. She took her time while she adjusted herself in a more comfortable position. Now, as she lay beside Ram, the dizziness started to fade.

 

With her eyes closed and face screwed up, Ram couldn't help but admire Alex's beauty. It wasn't the type of beauty you see in television nor in magazines. She was the comfortable type, the one guys would actually be excited to come home to.  She was beautiful in her own way, which made her appeal shoot up higher, and that's when she still has her clothes on. Without them, well, that's a whole different story.

 

"You up for breakfast?" he asked her, propping himself sideways so he could face her.

 

"Maybe coffee and bread will do," Alex answered. "You feel like cookin'?"

 

Ram shrugged. "Maybe. I was hoping you'd cook this time."

 

Alex looked at her best friend. "Ram, I cooked the last time, remember? It's your turn to cook. It's your kitchen."

 

Ram made a face. "I don't remember eating anything last time. Hmmm.." He placed his chin on his hand, complete with that annoying, mocking look on his face. Alex grabbed a pillow beside her and threw it on his face. "Liar. You ate all the omelet I cooked. You didn't even save some for me."

 

Ram faked a look of shock. "Oh, that one... I didn't know you hadn't eaten yet. You took off and went straight to the bathroom. Plus, you didn't tell me to leave some for you, did you?" He grinned at her, knowing that it annoyed her most. Alex, on the other hand, just rolled her eyes, grabbed his head and pushed it away from her. "Get out of my face, d****e."

 

Ram laughed as he felt her hand pushing him away and off the bed. It was his hobby to piss Alex off, because she was at her cutest when she's annoyed. He was about to get out of bed, when Alex grabbed his arm. "Seriously, Ram, can you cook this time? I'm famished. Please?" Ram smiled at her and gave her a fleeting kiss on her forehead. "After shower." Then he stood and went off to the bathroom.

 

Alex sighed as she watched his naked figure move towards the bathroom. Ram had an amazing body, she couldn't deny that. No one would. Ever, she thought. He spends  hours and hours in the gym, eats healthy meals, jogs almost every morning, and still finds time for them to be together. He was very handsome as well, with that boyish grin of his, and his dark eyes that would melt any girl's knees. She knew she was lucky she had him, and yet...

 

She was startled by a sound accompanied by a vibration. Her phone. She looked through the sheets for the source of the vibrations, and after throwing everything on the floor, she found it. Once she looked at the screen, she immediately frowned. Oh boy. Here we go. She took in a lot of air, then answered the phone. A very angry guy was shouting at the end of the line. "Good morning to you too, Patrick." She listened to him rant about how worried he was about her, about her not returning any of his calls, blah blah blah. She waited for him to stop ranting, then, as calmly as she could, she told him where she was last night. "I told you, remember? Ram was coming home this week, and I was going to spend the night at his house. We talked about this last week, babe. Remember?" He went on with his usual ranting about Alex spending the night at a guy's house, and all the things that might happen, then she cut him off. "Patrick, when you asked me if I could be your girlfriend, I told you about Ram right? He's my BEST FRIEND ok? We're practically brother and sister. Please, can't you get that?" Still he went on, and Alex was getting fed up. "Patrick? I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll call you later ok? Bye." Then she clicked off the phone and threw it across the room, just as Ram came in. Startled, he raised an eyebrow at her, then scanned his room. "Wow, Alex... Couldn't you wait for five minutes for your breakfast? I mean, I know you're hungry-"

 

"It was Patrick, okay? God, I'm hating that guy more and more," Alex shot back. She then slammed herself on the bed again. Ram quietly sat beside her. "Why are you with him again?"

 

"I thought I loved him."

 

"And now... You don't?"

 

Alex sighed. She looked up to him and studied his face. His smell was enough to drive her crazy. Her eyes then wandered off to his chest, then to arms, and lower to his perfect abs, and -

 

"Alexandria, I'm talking to you." Alex shook her head and her eyes went back up to his. His gaze was penetrating. "Why don't you leave him?"

 

She searched his eyes, but she found nothing.

 

Truth be told, she didn't know how to answer that question. When Patrick came into her life, she really did feel that she loved him. He's been her boyfriend for almost two years now, and he still had no idea that Ram and Alex were friends with benefits. Well, at least, Alex would like to think that he doesn't have any idea.

 

It wasn't always like this, though. Ram had been her best friend since high school, and they only started this peculiar relationship on a night they both got drunk and found themselves passionately ravishing each other. The next morning, Alex felt so awkward and guilty, that she thought she would lose her best friend. She told him that she didn't want to lose him, and he felt the same way. They agreed never to get drunk again, but then, one night, they were at Alex's house, and they just found themselves in each other's arms, and that led to another night, and another, and then suddenly, they couldn't stop. They sat down and talked about it, and agreed that if they were to stop their cravings, it might lead to something more serious. "Besides," Ram had said. "I'd rather have me screw you than some other guy who might have herpes or something. At least you know I'm clean. Think of me as your own personal gigolo." Then they just laughed about it, and they never talked about it even again.

 

Looking at him now, it made her rethink of their relationship. She wanted him, that much was true. She had never wanted anyone in her entire life the way she wanted him. Even though she convinced herself that it was ok, at the dark recesses her of heart, she knew this was wrong in so many levels.

 

"Ram," she started, after a few moments of silence. "Is this wrong?"

 

Ram looked confused. "Is what wrong? Me asking you to leave a guy you don't-"

 

"Not that, idiot. Us. US. You, me, this," she gestured around the room. "Is this still okay?"

 

Ram opened his mouth, but closed it again. The thought had always entered his mind whenever he would meet up with her, and after they have sex. As she lay sleeping beside him, he would always ask himself, "Is this still right?" He knew she had a boyfriend, although he highly doubted that Patrick was taking care of his best friend. But still.. Sometimes he felt like a modern adulterer, stealing away the heart of a lonely housewife, but he could never think that way with Alex. With Alex, it was different. Sometimes, when they would have sex, she would cling to him tighter than she usually does, and their kisses are becoming prolonged, and slow, almost close to romantic. He would watch her sleep, and he would just stare at her, feeling like Superman protecting his Lois Lane. Every morning, he feels like the happiest man on earth to wake up beside her. Every kiss, every sigh, every touch, every moan that comes out of their mouths... Everything felt as if it was the only right thing in the world.

 

He knew he was treading dangerous grounds once their sexual encounters became slower and more passionate. He knew that somehow, it was affecting how they felt for each other. Well, at least he knew it was affecting HIM. Alex had always been so guarded with her thoughts recently. The more nights they spent together, the more he wanted each night to not end; the more that he felt her, the more that he wanted to never let her go.

 

S**t. I'm falling in love with him.

 

Alex thought as she stared into those dark, gray eyes before her. She looked away immediately, afraid that her eyes might give her little secret away. "I'm sorry, I know we shouldn't talk about it..."

 

"N-No, it's okay," said Ram. "If you really want to talk about it-"

 

"Ram, no." She insisted, putting a hand over his. "I'm fine. We're fine. That's enough for me."

 

"But to me, it isn't."

 

Alex raised her eyes to his gaze again. "What?"

 

Ram took both her hands and spoke, still looking at her hazel eyes. "What if one day, I wake up and I realize this is not enough for me? What if one day, I wake up wanting to wake up to your face every  morning? What if one day, I finally tell myself that-"

 

"Don't." Alex cut him off. "Ram, no. Don't say another word-"

 

"But Alex-"

 

"Ram, please-"

 

"Alex, I think-"

 

"No!"

 

Alex yanked her hands from Ram's tightening grip and looked away. Ram was startled, but he didn't say a word, nor did he reach out to her. Alex felt tears threatening to come out of her eyes, but she shook them off. "Don't you think I feel that way? Don't you think that somehow, this has affected my relationship with Patrick?" She wiped her eyes hastily with one hand, then looked at Ram. "Whenever I'm with him, all I could think of is you, and how long I should wait before I talk to you or see you again. Whenever I have sex with Patrick, I don't see his face anymore. I see yours, and yours alone."

 

She couldn't stop herself any longer. She was going to burst.

 

"Ram, I'm scared out of my wits here. I'm scared that if I let myself feel what I feel right now, I might lose you. I'm scared that whatever it is I do will be a wrong decision, and that would make me lose you. I'm so f****n' scared that if I let myself feel this way, it would ruin you, me and us. So I don't. Cause I can't. I can NOT lose you."

 

Ram fell silent as Alex spoke. So it wasn't just him who was tormented. She felt it too. She felt that same tug in his gut whenever he would kiss her, hold her, and make love to her. It was simple, yet so complicated at the same time too.

 

After a few more minutes of dead silence, Ram spoke. "Come here." He gestured his arms wide open, and Alex scooted to her right so that she was encircled by his powerful and chiseled arms. She let him hug her tight, his arms encircling her entirely, his mouth softly kissing her hair and nape. She closed her eyes, feeling his hot breath on her skin, his butterfly kisses, and suddenly, she was lost in him once more. She faced him, her eyes blazing brightly. "Ram, I-"

 

"Don't," he said, placing a finger on her lips. "Some things are better left unsaid." He pressed his lips on hers, feeling her tremble under his touch. She nibbled his lower lip, driving him mad with want. He pushed her towards the bed, and looking at her beneath him, flushed and eyes on fire, he knew that there was nothing wrong. Nothing could ever go wrong.

 

Alex looked up at Ram, gazing at those intense eyes, and she knew that this wasn't just random sex. She was going to make love to him right now.

 

I love you, but for now, this is enough for me.