Hollow

Reader beware...

The ground moans with each step I take, 

I move slowly, carefully, now that I have my life to contemplate.  

Much more than rain the storm brought,

there were many lives it sought, and repentance of a betrayal we wrought.

I step over a severed head, it’s mouth twisted in a silent scream, 

when the moonlight touched his blade, I wonder if the metal gleamed.

I look closer at the face beneath me, my body begins to shiver,

I once knew this man, his frozen eyes have a message of horror to deliver.

Suddenly I hear something moving behind me,

I wanted to ignore the sound, to dismiss it blindly.

But then the smell of death overtook me like a freight train, 

it made me remember his name, and the debt that was owed, when the day of reckoning finally came.

I slowly turn around, but I don’t want to see what’s standing there,

I don’t want to see his flaming smile, or his pumpkin eyed stare.

I renounce any semblance of pride and drop to my knees,

“Give me another chance,” I beg to him, “Will you please?”

I receive no answer, my only response is the howling wind, 

then I hear his footfalls coming closer, and I know my life is about to end.

I think about the better times, about all the good memories I have, 

as his blade enters near my temple, and splits my skull in half.

This town will feel the horseman’s wrath, it will feel his sorrow,

and by this time tomorrow, he will have claimed every life in sleepy hollow.

Reviews

[Hearm Jan]

The description can warn the readers to be prepared. (Thumbs up.)

My suggestions is I guess, insert the last paragraph to the second-to-last or third-to-last paragraph; and then, remove the 'as' before the 'his blade' and change the 'and splits my skull in half' to like 'it's painful, he seems going to split my skull...'

Nice work of yours.