"Sword Play"

Poem about dark forces in combat; competition with, light..

This is not rehearsal,
 the blood you see is real.
There will be no reversal,
 these scars will never heal.
No masquerade is allowed here,
 be sure your weapon is sharp.
Your nemesis can smell your fear,
 like honey, in the dark.
Interacting with pure blood,
 smeared with hallowed stain.
Can He ever get enough of,
 wet dreams from your pain?
Dancing with the spectral Death;
 Jezebel in scheme,
you won't feel His claws or breath,
 before He hears you scream.
He has been around for eons,
 and He designed the game.
His specialty is crucifixion,
 do you know His Name?
Lost in this mindless zone;
 where the trophy case stays filled;
leave the Origins of chaos alone,
 it will balance karma's bill.
And so;the fame points to the name,
 familiar tactics, sure.
But what if the Master of all this disaster,
 was not just Lucifer?

Author's Note

Reviews are requested, honesty preferred.

Reviews

[SilentVerses]

As you read more the meaning seeps and submerges the reader in the speed of its emotion, the rhythm is languidly powerful as the battle rages on, electricity sparks in the darkness of your illuminated arena, words are your venom and as you spit them from crystal lips they fall in place and outline a desire for justice to be served. The metaphors dance and entwine within the images portrayed and as a symphony of melodies and aromas swirl together they create a beautiful piece.

[Jeremy Baker]

Deep and thoughtful. The rhyme nad rhythm complement the structure, which in turns leads the reader along a journey to a question I would really rather not confont. Great writing!

Oh gosh, I love how you related the smell of fear in the dark to honey! The title was what drew me in to read and I'm really glad I did! I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

[Review]

The word choice is excellent, it flows beautifully. I love the rhythm and rhyme scheme. Good title and great work!

I love this portrayal of evil, "the origin of chaos" ... stimulated by inflicting pain ... brilliant. And, yes He can smell our fear. And that little twist at the end ~ intriguing.