The Man In The Black Hat

He stalks, he lurks, he walks the night.

The blood he swallows would give you a fright.

He walks the streets cloaked in a fog.

Your head he'll quickly chop like a log.

He's a handsome enough young man at first glance.

He'd probably even ask for a dance.

He's a wolf in sheep cloths and if you strike his fancy....

The moment you step out into that alley, he'll hack at you like crazy.

Now he wasn't always this way.

That all changed that one fatal day.

You see the man in the black hat was very much in love.

In his eyes she was his angel sent from above.

One day he lost his dear sweet angel.

The man who stole her he wanted to strangle.

The man spun into a depression.

At it's peak waited a new version.

He had emerged from his mental torment with a new outlook.

Though live from him was almost took.

Now he wonders in search of her.

The one he thought was so faithful and pure.

Should your look strike a memory in his mind.

You will feel pain of a very new kind.

Should you resemble his love in any fashion.

It's Your throat he'll soon be gashin.

One night he happened upon a nice enough house.

He crept along to the side only to find a woman in a blouse.

"It's her" he exclaimed with an exited sigh.

Tonight was not her night' Now my love you shall die."

I snuck into the house with care to be unseen.

My wits about me I move with senses keen.

I walk down the hall and up to the bed room.

I crept inside to deliver them their doom.

With my bat I struck him in his fragile head.

After this he's most certainly dead.

I pluck from his head those eyes that caught her in his gaze.

Then I set his body a blaze.

I walk toward her and her pathetic terrified face.

From my pocked I pull a blood stained knife with almost divine grace.

I stand over her and for a moment, I hesitate.

Just for a moment I decide to wait.

Then my mind is maid up.

I cut her down and fill blood into my cup.

I tear out her heart.

With it I do depart.

Until the next one.

After the moon take over for the sun.

Hopefully I'll find the rite one next time I wake.

Because again I've made a mistake.

So I'll keep looking on.

Searching from dusk till dawn.

For the one who left me for that rat.

So I keep walking, as The Man In The Black Hat.

Reviews

[Sourav]

Nicely written... intense poem.

[Nicci]

There are a lot of spelling errors and the person changed from third to first abruptly....and besides all that it is a bit frightening and a bit too dark for my taste. Other than that it was good but a bit rough.

[Beaner166]

Changing from 3rd to 1st person was the intention

[Missy Lorraine]

I thought that this was a very unique and interesting poem. You have just a couple typos, but other than that, I would leave it just as it is. I especially love the lines
"Should you resemble his love in any fashion.
It's Your throat he'll be gashin."
hmm...actually now that I look at it again, you have a couple weaker rhymes, but still I would leave it...you don't want to change the meaning of the poem.