Cigarette Ash

As time expires on the earth, we all burn out, or fade away.

“Time expires, doesn’t it?”  He asked, taking a long drag on his freshly lit cigarette.  I was leaning on the side of a bank, waiting for my break to end.  This man had decided to lean near me, his backpack pressed against the wall.


    “Well, yeah.  The seconds tick down, and time moves on.”  I said, not sure where this conversation was going.


    He blew the smoke out of his mouth, it formed a cloud of that seemed tinted blue, it quickly faded into nothing, as most things do.  


    “So we agree, time does expire.  Of course it does right?  Why wouldn’t it?  Nothing is permanent, not even this earth, not this cigarette, not me, and not you.  Right?”  He asked.


    “Well, yeah.  If you want to put it that way, then sure, nothing is permanent.”  I said, still not grasping at what he was getting at.  


    “So, if nothing is permanent, then why do we all seem to act like this?  I mean, if we all end up dead, if everything we love will eventually burn out, and fade away.  If everything we love in this earth is going to die, why do we act like this?”  He asked, a serious look on his face.  His cigarette was slowly burning out, ashes slowly falling to the cold concrete.


    I was taken back by his newly developed serious tone.  “Uh... act... act like what exactly?”  I asked, a bit concerned and a bit confused.


    “We all act like we aren’t going to die.  Don’t you see?  We all live our lives as safely as possible.  Well, maybe not all of us.  There are a few out there who don’t give a s**t if they die.  Most people wouldn’t want you to look up to them right?  Most parents don’t want their kids to skateboard, it’s too dangerous, right?  Most people wouldn’t want their friend to take up skydiving, it’s too dangerous, right?”  He asked me.  His cigarette still burning out, slowly.  The ashes still falling to the cold hard concrete.


        “Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t want my friends to jump out of a plane, and if I had a kid, I wouldn’t want him to anything that would cause him harm.  Isn’t that just how people are?  They don’t normally like to see others get hurt.”  I said.


        “Hurt...  Yeah, but life is full of hurt, isn’t it?”  He asked.  “I mean no one will ever grow up unharmed.  Pain is apart of life.  Trying to stop someone from feeling pain in their life seems meaningless to me.  It’s going to happened.  Hell, maybe even though they got hurt, they enjoyed the experience before the pain set in.”  He finished, the cigarette continued to burn, long forgotten in this casual conversation.


        “Okay, you’re right, sure.  Everyone gets hurt, and life experience matters.  I get it.  So what’s your point?”  I asked.


        “The point is simple.  If everyone dies, why don’t we try to live more in life?”  He asked.


        “Because we want to live longer?  The more dangerous stuff you take part in, the shorter your life span could possibly be.”  I countered.


        “But if you live life simply to live longer, have you really even lived at all?”  He asked.  His cigarette had burnt out, causing him a little pain where the fire reached, he dropped it.  All the ash splattered on the cold concrete ground.


        “It’s kind of like that cigarette there isn’t it?”  I asked.  “The more puffs you take, the faster it burns out, the less puffs you you take, the slower is burns out.”  I continued.  “If you take too many puffs in life, too many chances, the shorter it will be.”  I said.


        The man simply laughed at this.  “Good metaphor you have there.”  He said.  “So what are you going to do, let your life burn out?  Or take another drag, and hope your cigarette is longer than others?”  He asked.


        “I always heard it’s better to burn out, than to fade away.”  I stated.  “What about you?”  I asked.  “Do you want to burn out, or fade away?”


        “I think I’m going to suck on life til I die.”  He said.


        He quickly pulled a mask out of his backpack, along with a pistol of some sorts.  I didn’t really get a good look at it before he pulled the trigger.  The bullet entered my stomach, and I felt myself smashed against the wall from the bullets force.  I slid down the now red wall and slumped over.  A pool of blood quickly formed around me.  I heard screams, and gunshots from inside the bank.  The pain was overwhelming, but I doubt I will be in pain for much longer.  The conversation we had played over in my head in my last moments of life.  You either burn out... or you fade away.  I guess I’m burning out, and fading away.  Just like cigarette ash.