Reason to Die

Do you hear her screaming in the room next to yours? Did you run in and help her when you knew she needed you? She yelled and cried from her pain and depression, and look what you did. You closed your eyes and said, “I’ll check on her tomorrow, it’s late, she’ll  be fine.” You’re wrong.

She didn’t come out of her room that morning. As you ate your breakfast you thought about checking on her. “I need to run a few errands, I’ll check on her when I get back, shouldn’t be too long.” You left all day and came back late at night, “She’s probably asleep.” You’re wrong. You went to bed.

Today as you came out of your room you decided to open her door, it’d been a few days since you’d last seen her. Empty. As you went to the kitchen you saw her in the living room.

There she sat, staring into nowhere, more fragile then ever before. Her skin was paler, her hair more frail, her eyes… dim. Still though, you.. said nothing. “She’s quiet. Probably doesn’t want to talk.” You’re wrong.

One week later.

The same routine has returned. You don’t seem to care anymore. For the first time in weeks, months, you knock on her door. She answers, ever more pale and fragile, wet streaks of new tears down her cheeks. You say you’re leaving, you can’t take it, goodbye. You were too ignorant to understand her pain, to help her even though she needed you.

All it took was a day to go by before you realized what you’d done. After numerous texts, emails, and phone calls you go to your once home. You know she’s inside, regardless to no answer at the door. You break it down instead and burst into her room.

There she lied, covered in her own blood from the cuts she gave herself. All you had left was a note she wrote for you.

‘You were the only thing keeping me alive. You were my reason. I love you, but you let me down, I never thought I’d see the day.. losing you killed me. Thank you, you were my reason to live, and now you’re my reason to die.’