skin deep

I sometimes wonder what it would be like

to have that thing called peace of mind

to be someone who

wasn't in a constant state of coming

undone

it seems so strange

that there are people who don't spend their days

just waiting to break

how did I end up

here

shaking

crying and I'm trying with

all that I have left to stay quiet

silent

some things are best left unspoken, and

the only witness to my broken is

the darkness that inevitably comes with the setting sun

I know it's a cliche to say the nights are the worst but

it's true, I have nothing left to do but try to convince myself

there's nothing to be afraid of now

someone tell me how

I tell myself that I'm safe

that everything is going to be okay

but 

the words have lost their meaning and

for everything I'm feeling

it doesn't even matter anymore

what's real and

what's not

I can't stop 

the way my stomach drops or

the way my throat tightens and 

I'm not frightened of the dark

but of the shadows that become

figures become

Him,

become handprints permanently etched into my skin

like scars

that no one else can see

but me, and God knows

if I could I would shed this

skin that feels more like a prison

than an essential organ,

this skin that binds me to my history

as if I couldn't remember well enough on my own

all the things He did to me

how He used me

reduced me

to His pretty little toy

for Him to enjoy and

now He's in my head

I can't stop hearing His voice

and all the things He said

with His breath hot against my neck

like a threat, and now I'm

forced to relive

these memories are unforgiving and

the only thing I'm brave enough to say

is that He liked me for my

skin

Reviews

[Misterr Remeat]

Wow! Powerful words and imagery! A Cadence like beat poetry. Made me totally empathize with your fear and pain. Very well done!

[likesgreeneggsandham]

Very visceral and raw. I think you've excellently portrayed the coming undone that comes with certain sexual relationships