Smoke

....smoke and slow dance music..

Smoke

“ when your hearts on fire,

smoke gets in your eyes...”

�"from the song “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”

by the Platters

A blue-grey haze littered the room,

an intimate café

where the sensual sounds

of the Fender triple neck

steel guitar played

and enticed a hungry sway

in the jazzy cool way

as you walked in

wanting to dance.

*

After watching you dance

in R&B abandon,

“Sleep Walk”, a melodic haunting vibes

filled the air with erotic tension.

I held out my hand

and you wandered sleekly

into my smooth melodies.

As our sweat mingled

we moved closer in time

a Shalimar drip

tasted my lip. 

*

I felt the shiver quiver

and though the music stopped

a while ago,

we danced,

we danced,

we danced on.

And while my heart

is still on fire, and your smoke

gets in my eyes,

it is your haunting “sleep walk”

that makes me sing.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 6.10.16

Author's Note

...thanks for reading... I could have embedded the song "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" by the Platters, but thought Santo and Johnny's "Sleep Walk fit the poem better...

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is one of the best of your poems I've read so far. You've really gone all the way with excellent word play, as well as painting a vivid scenario of the situation, as well as the feelings. The way you've chosen & crafted your words is as playful as the message itself. This makes me miss the good ole days of going clubbing, dancing, & sparking a random glow of attraction to some stranger on the dance floor! *smile*

[redzone]

isn't it sometimes amazing how a "random glow of attraction" can turn into more?? I am thrilled you liked this so much, doing a happy hobble over here on the east coast... lol

seriously thank you for stopping by and for your kind words...

[katie]

Wonderful piece as usual. I tend to read your works and become so taken aback I can't put to words a review worthy of being read by you. This was enthralling. The imagery was outstanding. You've got amazing talent and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!

[Lyn Anderson]

I read and reviewed this on my phone when it was posted. Apparently, it did not take. At any rate, an enjoyable piece -- very vivid.

[V]

A lovely and smooth word combination painting a clear image of the scenery. I love the mood in it, it's easy to read and grasp. Whst a hot and nice night, pictured in a kind of dreamy way.

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah, the aroma of Shalimar wafts through the air, the music starts, and the swaying never ends. They say that dancing is a vertical representation of a horizontal act and after reading this, I absolutely believe it. So intimate....so sensual....so "nice"......loved it! Lydi**

[Ana Papaya]

I can see the the scene perfectly and it's so beautiful. I love the twang of the steel guitar, it sets a really nice mood. I can almost see the smoke hanging in the air.

[redzone]

(Papaya), thank you... I am glad you found the poem enticing, the steel guitar "twangy" and the smoky room enticing you to a dance... I am glad you stopped by

[Ana Papaya]

my pleasure!!!! I have one on my old profile that you might have liked. it's a bar scene. different from this one a little but maybe same feel. :) You might even have read it I don't know.
Anyhow, really enjoyed it!

[redzone]

not sure if I have seen your "scene" but would love to see if it is still available... if so send via PM and also is there a poem or music to go with your "bar scene"...

[Pryde Foltz]

Romance is in the air ... I must get the nose for it. A swayingly good write:)

[redzone]

thanks Pryde... maybe one day a nice scent will come your way and it will be hard to avoid it... nad the "swaying" will begin... you are always welcome here Pryde...