Relapse

Warning: Potty-mouth ahead. An older one. Personal.

Relapse,
Falling back it seems,
Perhaps,
I should've checked the beams,

Should've pulled that knot much tighter than I did,
Back when I was being such a stupid f*****g kid,

But I slipped and fell instead,
And I didn't wind up dead,

And now,
My heart's on the line again,
So bow,
As you try to part with him,

Like you've tried so damned repeatedly,
And have always failed to even notice me,

I want to try and leave,
Like I tried to believe.

I am here,
Though I know you don't care,
Disappear,
I'll spare you my despair,

I don't think I ever truly got over you,
No, I improved in making lies seem more true,

"I wish I'd loved you instead of him",
Why on earth did you say that back then?

Goodbye,
I will succeed tonight,
I'll try,
To make all this right,

Why couldn't you have loved me in his place?
Think of all he took that you can't replace,

God, I'm being so damned melodramatic,
My plan's hardly all that pragmatic.

I won't,
Kill myself, I swear,
So don't,
Pretend you really care,

I love you and I will always truly mean that,
So please don't try when you know that you can't,

I've no longer any idea what to do,
About wanting so badly to be with you.

Author's Note

Sorry about the F-word, if you're the type that's offended about that sort of thing. I thought it appropriate, and, I don't see that it warrants a "mature" rating.

Reviews

[Valerie Dean Belew]

That's okay. Most kids use the word, though I rated Shame Game mature due to the F word. I liked this poem, because love towards the wrong person is an aweful lot like addiction. You try to stop, you think you've succeeded, then oops, oops, you see them again, or hear about their new lover, then oops, there you go again, sliding down that slippery slop. I liked this one, because it is as strong as the intensity of a failed relationship that just keeps on giving like a stray cat, and won't stay gone.