Gum

“Okay, bye.”

“Was that him?”

“Don’t start Michael.”

I popped the piece of gum into my mouth. I really like gum. Some of it you could chew for hours and it wouldn’t loose its flavor. Other times though, it could loose its flavor so quickly you don’t even seem to have time to remember the taste.

“It was him, wasn’t it? He has the nerve to call here, at our home!”

“Please Michael not again.”

My mom bought me three packs of gum this morning. I never question her when she buys gum; it usually means we’re going on a long trip.

“Don’t please Michael me, you brought this on yourself Annie.”

I can usually finish an eight pack of sugar free watermelon gum, which is my favorite kind, in a 10 our trip. Since it really doesn’t have any flavor to begin with, it really doesn’t have anything to loose. That’s what I like about it.

“I can’t handle this right now!”

This morning my mom bought me a 12 pack of sugar free watermelon gum, a six pack of winter fresh, and a six pack of extra gum that tastes like cough syrup.

“You have to learn how to handle this Annie. You can’t keep running at the first sight of trouble. You have to face that this is your fault, that you brought this on all of us.”

I decided to chew the extra gum first because it looses its flavor the fastest and it tastes the worst. I don’t understand why they make such disgusting gum. I guess there are some people out there who enjoy gum that tastes like cough syrup.

“I run for her sake Michael, she doesn’t need to be a witness to the mess that you’ve put us in.”

“The mess I’ve put us in! Annie are you listening to yourself? Who was it that ruined our marriage? Who was it that has moved out daughter six times in the last twelve years that she’s been alive? Who is that keeps running away from her problems, you won’t face confrontation? Who is that made me have to keep running after the woman I love because I was scared that I would lose her again?”

“Michael, please not now.”

“Then when Annie, after you go out and have another rendezvous with him, is that when you would like to discuss this?”

“Leave him out of this Michael!”

“There you go protecting the man who ruined our lives!”

On April 2, 1997 my mom took me out shopping. It was supposed to be a girl’s day out, just the two of us. We had just run away again and my mom said that she wanted to by something nice for daddy when he found us. She always liked to buy him something for when he found us, she always expected him to come after us.

At five o’clock we were eating dinner in the mall when my mom met a man. She acted like she knew him. She told me to go into the toy store and that she would be right back. The man gave me twenty dollars and a pack of orange gum to make sure that I didn’t follow them. “Your mom said that you liked gum, so I got you some.” He had said. I hate orange gum but I ate all of it. Later I broke out in hives. I’m allergic to orange gum.

“Do you even think about what you are doing to Jay?”

“Yes, I love her very much Michael. You are the one who doesn’t seem to give a damn about her.”

“Don’t you dare say that! I love Jay more than anything. I am the one who is there when she asks me where her mother is and I don’t know what to say. I am not the one who goes traipsing all around the country to run away from her fears, her mistakes, and her life.”

When my dad use to go on business trips, that guy from the mall would come over. His name was Anthony. Every time he came over he brought me orange gum. Some times it would be a whole pack but other times it would just be one piece. After the first day when he brought me gum, I never ate any of it. I put it all in a box that I bought with the money Anthony gave me, it’s black. In the year that we stayed in Hartford, I had accumulated 100 packs of orange gum. I really, really hate orange gum.

“Do you remember why we are here today Michael? It is because you wanted to move. Not me, I wasn’t the one running away this time.”

“I wanted to move to get him out of our lives Annie, and it’s seems that I’ve have failed once again.”

On June 8, 1998 my mom bought five packs of gum, four of them were sugar free for me and one was orange for her. We moved to Tuscan, Arizona that day, and my mom spent two hours talking on the phone with someone. That was the day that my dad learned to hate orange gum.

            “He is out of our life Michael, he is gone just please drop it.”

“He will never be out of our life Annie, stop kidding yourself. He will never be gone.

December 5 my mom and I went on a trip to New York, after another fight between her and my dad in Tuscan. We stopped twice each day and she bought two things each time, a diet coke and orange gum. We bought an apartment in Ebony, New York on December 18. My dad moved in with us on December 20. There were three rooms; one for my parents, one for me and one that my mom said was for “guests” if we ever had some. In the bottom cabinet of the dresser, in a little blue and white make up bag, in that room my mom put the orange gum she had bought on the trip. I never stepped foot into that room.

            “I really can’t handle this right now, I really can’t. Where are my keys?”

            “Oh no, not again. Come back here Annie! Don’t walk away from me.”

            “I c-c-can’t handle this.”

            “Oh, don’t start crying Annie, stop this come back here! Annie!”

My dad’s favorite type of gum is Grape Bubblicious. On February 13, 1995 my dad got a job at a traveling law firm. On February 14, 1995 my mom told my dad that she wasn’t sure that she loved him anymore and that she was leaving. On February 15, 1995 we ran away for the first time and I bought my first pack of sugar free gum. At 9 o’clock my mom forbade me from ever buying grape gum again.

“Annie please don’t leave again. Annie stop packing, please. I love you Annie, please stop. I love you.”

July 14, 1995 my dad found my mom and me in Maine. He told her that he loved her and that he was sorry that they fought and he begged her not to leave again. She forgave him but told him she still wasn’t sure she loved him. He asked her why and she said she didn’t know. That day she bought six packs of gum, four packs of grape and her first two packs of orange gum. We moved to Hartford, Connecticut three weeks later.

            “I c-c-can’t handle this, not n-n-now. I have to l-l-leave.”

            “No, Annie, please not again. Please stay.”

            “N-n-no. goodbye.”

Thirty minutes and fifteen seconds the extra gum had lost its taste. I threw it in the trash can and curled my fingers around the handle of my suitcase.

            “Come o-one J-J-Jay, we’re leaving.”

My mom thrust a pack of sugar free watermelon gum in my hand and pulled me out of the door. In the car I reached into a secret compartment in my suitcase and pulled out my one and only piece of grape gum. As we pulled away I popped it into my mouth and savored the taste for one last time.    

 

 

 

Author's Note

opinions please?

Reviews

[deactivated account. pl..]

I always loved this piece.
There's something so deep here, such deep meaning. When the main character says "Since it really doesn't have any flavor to begin with, it really doesn't have anything to loose. That's what I like about it." That is such a profound statement.
Brilliant dearie. I love this.