Shower Boy (a short story) part 1

Anthony has really done it now. Stealing a credit card is no joke. All that money in a kid’s hands at once!? He’ll give it back after the skins… and after some flexing… right?

Kids, I think it’s time I told you about why I’m called Shower Boy by everyone who knows me.

Maya: Yes! I’ve been wondering why people call you that! What did you do, take a lot of showers?

Daunte: Nah, that can’t be. Dad barely take showers now, how long he stays isolated in his office to write those horror books.

Okafina: They’re thriller books! And dad’s the best writer in the world!

Okay kids. Settle down. This story is a bit like a thriller, or at least it was to me. It starts out like this…

I was at my friend William’s house. He, I, and our other friends Akiema and Rose were playing this cool split-screen game called ‘Sunken heroes’

Daunte: Are you serious? That old 2000’s game was cool to you? It sounds so lame!

Hey! Back then it was the best of the best! Everyone was playing it! Now let me continue before I lose my train of memory!

So we were playing sunken heroes. Even though we were playing split-screen, we had to sign in to our own accounts to have our own load-outs and stuff, and everyone had a skin on their character. Everyone but me.

Okafina: Wait! Your character had no skin? Ewwwww! Were you like a skeleton or something?

Daunte: No! In video games, skins are like new clothes for your character or new editions to your items! Not actual skin! duh!

Daunte?

Daunte: I know, I know, ‘be nice to your little sister’.

Anyway…Everyone at school, even my friends had skins, and it totally sucked for me.

“Aw dude! You got the dragon-slayer skin!?? I wanted that for like, ten weeks!” I yelled.

“Mom finally caved and bought me Sunken-bucks for my birthday.” William told me. “I’ve even got a new winning animation for my character.”

“That’s super cool! I wish my mom would get me that skin.” I said, mainly to myself.

“Yeah, and my mom said she’s getting me the ‘Flower is Power’ skin later d’day, as soon as I get home.” Rose bragged.

“Gosh your Lucky.” I told Rose. “My parents won’t even give me an allowance, much less get me a skin.

“You don’t need a skin to have fun on Sunken heroes.” Akiema said to me. “All they are is just character cosmetics. The default skin can deal just as much power.”

“Yeah, but who wants to be default?” I told her. “All I want is one skin. Not even a legendary skin. One skin.”

She seemed to study me, her velvet brown eyes searching me as fast as a humming bird’s wings, before turning back to the game. Akiema looked sad for me. I don’t like making people sad, so I let the matter drop. Soon we all started to head home, and after Akiema left, I decided to ask William and Rose what to do.

“How am I gonna get some money to buy skins guys? Should I start a business? Should I beg on the sidewalk?”

“Easy. Your parents won't give you any money, so just take it from them. Pull a crazy kid move and steal your parent’s credit card or something.” said Rose.

“No way! I’d be grounded for eternity. Would you even do that Rose?” I asked her.

“Yep.” Rose said slyly. I couldn’t tell if she was lying or not, but I could bet she was. Rose always was a liar.

“No way, dude, you’ll be fine without a skin. You don’t need one.” William said to me. “Sunken Heroes is not that important.”

“Easy for you to say. You’ve got a skin.” I glared at him.

“Fine, say whatever you want, but I just don’t think a skin is that important.” William said before opening the front door for me and Rose.

“We can play Sunken Heroes some more at my house if you want. I promise not to be too much better than you are at it.” Rose offered.

“Nah, my Nana’s coming home.” I said. “I don’t wanna be the last at the table when mom serves that big feast she always makes when grandma comes. I want to get the biggest scoop of scrambled eggs!”

“You're just afraid of being beat!” Rose said. Eventually I waved goodbye and branched off from walking with her as we came by my house.

As soon as I stepped inside, my nose was greeted with the smell of cheese grits. Just hearing the sizzling of bacon was enough to make my mouth fill with saliva. I quickly threw down my backpack and ran into the dining room, which was right next to the kitchen.

“Nana!?” I yelled, though I knew it was her at the table with her shiny black and caramel-colored wig and mint green dress. Nana always wore old-school dresses.

“Anthuny! Is that you looking so tall? Come give your Nana some sugar!” she said to me as I ran to hug her. “And June! Look at you!” as she started to fuss over my little sister, she said to me, “Anthuny, go get my purse!”

“Where is it?” I asked her.

“On the couch in the living room. Or maybe in your father’s chair. Either one. You’ll find it.”

“Why didn’t you just take it with you here?” I asked her.

“Anthony! How dare you! You never talk back to your elders! Now go get your grandma’s purse!” Mom shouted at me while scrambling eggs.

Now of course I was embarrassed. While Rose laughed at me and mom continued to scold, (“you may leave your backpack anywhere, but your Nana wants to have her belongings with her! Actually, is your bookbag in the closet where it belongs? It better be!”) I went to retrieve grandma’s purse.

See, I could tell the grits and eggs were done since I heard mom put the tops on their pots. It was almost time to eat!

I quickly grabbed one of the handles on Nana’s purse and tried to hurry back to the kitchen. But you see, I had chosen the handle farthest from me, and some of Nana’s stuff fell out of her purse.

At first I thought, ‘oh crap!’ and I hurried to pick up all her stuff. But I noticed one thing that dropped out of her purse that could be the answer to all my problems.

Her credit card.

I knew I shouldn’t. But it was sitting right there on the dark wooden floor, and I couldn’t help myself.

I quickly grabbed the credit card and stuffed it into my pocket, then ran to hand Nanna her purse.

“Thank you sweet potata,” my Nanna told me. My heart was pounding like a hammer on a nail. Though no one was in the living room when I snagged Nanna’s credit card, I was still scared grandma would notice her credit card was missing.

After dinner, I ran into my room and hid the credit card in my sock drawer. I knew I had to wait ‘till real late for what I was about to do.

At bedtime, I layed in my bed and waited for my parents to go to sleep. It was kinda hard to stay awake, since they stayed up late, but once they did, I ran down to the TV and turned on my Playbox console.

I checked the time. It was 12:00 a.m.! Nevertheless it was too late to quit, so I went to the Sunken Heros’ Object Shop, and bought away.

It wasn’t so bad. The next day, I went straight to my phone and texted William:

TheAntMan: guess what? I got new skins for my character in the Sunken Hero’s Object Shop!

It took him about two minutes to respond.

William: What!? Your parents finally gave in?

TheAntMan: Not exactly...

William: what do you mean?

TheAntMan: I’ll tell you later. Sunken Heros at your place?

William: yea.

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Note

Totally open for critiquing. Tell me anything you can so I can improve!

Reviews

[JayG]

• Totally open for critiquing. Tell me anything you can so I can improve!

Well, you did ask, so you have only yourself to blame, because my news isn't good—though it has nothing to do with talent.

The problem is, you’re making it up as you go. You’re trying to user script-writing on the page, and that can’t work. Fiction for the page has its own structure. And that’s not at all like that of the report-writing skills we’re given in school, or the storytelling skills we use when presenting to an audience. Fiction-Writing is a profession, one they offer degree programs in. And you have to assume that at least some of what's taught is necessary. Right? So you’re not going to take a few suggestions and begin writing like a pro. There’s a LOT to it. That doesn’t say you can’t master it, but it does say that you do need to seek out and study the techniques the pros take for granted.

Not good news, I know. We all deserve to be rich and famous authors, but it is the world we live and work in.

But on the flip side of that is the news that the studying isn’t hard labor when you’re learning something you want to know more about. And once you do master those skills the act of writing becomes a LOT more fun. And, you’ll spend a lot of time wondering why you didn’t see the things you're learning without having to be told.

Given where you are, I’d suggest you look at a few of the articles in my WordPress writing blog. They’re meant to give a feel for a few of the major issues, and are based on what you’ll find in a book on technique, like Debra Dixon’s, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict—an excellent first book for someone in your position.

So…you were hoping for a few directions on climbing the hill, and I’ve presented you with Mt. Everest. Sorry. But on the other hand, if you are meant to write you’ll love the learning. If not, think of the time you’ve saved.

So jump in, and give it a try. Talent isn’t something you have, it’s something you train.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Sami Khalil]

A very enjoyable story with peer influence of games and other things. Not familiar with this game. I like the dialogue all over. Some twists and turns make it interesting.