The Issue: Snake(s)

questions and contradictions about Eden

With a generous concern for all of those

testy and divided,

One forsakes the gaudy baubles in one’s advice;

though some are (stunningly) still wary…

will they ever see the signs?

The reasons for having tried so hard

to define such thoughts…cantankerous,

is for highlighting the absolute

Within our polluted lives.

These thoughts that so invade our minds are

written of in the Bible,

With the Machiavellian snake that coaxes

Adam and Eve to take a bite…

relying on the wisdom

of a psychopathic asp.

These contradictory, tempting words

of other snakes (at best a ruse)

expose the truth to slander, in a way.

But snakes should never occupy one’s mindset

anyway,

for life is filled with much more strong

and unholy diversions.

(these are kept hidden…why?)

 

dan © 2015

 

 

Reviews

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

what a clever write this was... I love these lines

With the Machiavellian snake that coaxes
Adam and Eve to take a bite…
relying on the wisdom
of a psychopathic asp.

a different perspective on an old tale...well done

[dan]

The poor snake...misunderstood, vilified for the actions of a few...like we humans and our compulsion for stereotyping others. Thank you for your take on this write, always appreciated. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is a pretty smart write...

and as stephen wright said "even snakes are afraid of snakes"---
don't trust them, especially the seemingly harmless garden snakes...

[dan]

Thanks a lot, Jacob. I really struggled with this one trying to get it right, I'll probably make a few changes later...I'll sleep on it. I've been a fan of Wright since the first time I saw him on TV. Wonderful quote. take care...dan

[Confuser]

Well, it is so very delightful: So many things contradict; At least a few of my writing are packed full: I like the play on words, the humour of taking things so literally, the satirical feeling of the writing. But snakes should never occupy one’s mindset
anyway,
for life is filled with much more strong
and unholy diversions.
I enjoyd it Dan: thank you once again, you are right, wisdom slivering through....Bye

[dan]

Dale, thank you so much for your detailed and finely worded review. I'm probably going to make some changes to it, I'm not exactly enamored with how it turned out (the second one today I've posted 'incomplete' writes. I'm certainly happy that you liked it, thanks for your kind words. take care...dan

[Confuser]

It's great writing Dan! Your're welcome...it's very good. Take care of yourself. Dale

[....................]

But snakes should never occupy one’s mindset
anyway,
for life is filled with much more strong
and unholy diversions.

(these are kept hidden…why?)

These lines are so true and the final question is one that, unfortunately, will never be conclusively answered. I love the Machiavellian reference for it speaks volumes to how religion has been used to carry out so many atrocities. Another great write dan! - FT

[dan]

FT, Thanks so much. This makes two good reviews I've gotten, though I was hesitant to even post it because I'm not completely happy with it. Something important seems to have been left unexplored, something salient. I wanted the snakes to represent a perspective with religious underpinnings...but I'm not really sure that I made it clear, albeit suggestively. Thanks again for the great review, although I think this will most likely be edited, some time soon. take care...dan

[....................]

You are welcome dan, but our work is always at risk of being edited for our perspectives change daily as we continue to experience the world around us and interact with those in it. And, really, when it comes to what we have left unsaid, I guess there are several angles with with to approach our writing and therefore several underpinnings we could use. What ever you do to this piece will add to it I am sure. - FT

[dan]

FT, Thank you for your vote of confidence. take care...dan

[~]

A grand theme to explore, with some good answers weaved throughout the questions.
I liked the vocabulary you used for this philosophical approach of the issue of choice and being allured by the wrong ones.
"The reasons for having tried so hard
to define such thoughts…cantankerous,
is for highlighting the absolute
Within our polluted lives." -- To me, these verses give the perfect prognosis of our society and its major disease. Living in a world without absolutes, raises many questions about the relativity of it all. How do we find it? Where should we find it?
Great work Dan!

[dan]

ms, A very astute analysis; your review pretty much sums up the gist of what my idea for this was constructed with. Tie it all in with the presence of snakes (betrayal, false feelings) and you have a glimpse of the complex mélange of feelings, viewpoints highlighted in this piece. I'm a bit disappointed, however, and will probably be making changes to this later. I put a lot of thought into this one but am not really happy with it in its entirety. Maybe I'm being picky, or selfish for having posted it in this form, I don't know. Thank you so much, however, for your very kind words. I really do appreciate them. take care...dan