Dark Rider

Hurry children! He comes! The Reaper is here!

The moon shone bright o’re the barren land. 
The wind through the trees like Death’s cold hand. 
Galloping hoof beats sound through the night, 
but, my friend, there is not a horse in sight. 
Echoing loudly down cobblestone streets, 
Hide now, dear children, lest Death shall you meet. 

Run to your houses and climb ‘neath your beds! 
For Hallow’s Eve is for pagans that worship the dead! 
Put a mark on the door, leave a gift on the ledge, 
and make sure that your soul, to the Lord, you must pledge. 
Who is it that rides on the dark, wind’s cold breath? 
My friend it’s a horse, with rider called Death. 

Now hurry, dear children, to your beds you must go! 
Or the rider will take you and bring you below. 
Down under, where the demons and evil ones dwell. 
Down under they’ll take you, so better hide well! 
Get under the blankets and cover your heads, 
For Hallow’s Eve night is the night for the dead. 

The hoof beats are slowing, is someone awake? 
Close your eyes, quickly! Or your soul he will take! 
No playing or talking, hush now, he’ll hear. 
For he knows when your frightened, and lives for your fear. 
The mark on the door might not keep him at bay, 
So better be quiet, my dears, and just pray. 

The Dark One is passing, and night gives a sigh. 
The wind filters under the door as he rides. 
No peeking! He’ll see you! Just keep your eyes closed.
His hell hounds are listening to you as he goes. 
Remember, dear children, be good as you sleep, 
and pray to the Lord that your soul He will keep. 

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

A very interesting take on All Hallows Eve, Riss. Competently written, and incorporating rhyme and meter. Could this be, on WritersCafe? Lol. There are a couple of typo's you might want to look at, 'o're' should be 'o'er' being a contraction of 'over'. You also shift from past to present tense in the first verse. It should be 'shines bright' if you intend to continue in present tense, as you do. Then 'with (a) rider called death, to maintain the rhythm. 'Take' you below rather than 'bring', which tends to indicate that you are there below yourself. He knows when 'you're' frightened, not your.
To see my take on All Hallows Eve you might be interested to see

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Dawei/1431955/

David

[Relic]

This is such an excellent read whether the reader is an adult or child. I personally liked it very much. You have a good command over rhyme and a good feel for dark poetry. I hope it gets a lot of reviews. :)

[Riss Ryker]

Thank you SO much. Reviews don't get any better than this!!

[Relic]

ha You're welcome.