Buddhism: Life sucks and it's your fault

that's what some people think, but what does it really say?

"Life sucks and it's your fault".

That's what some people think Buddhism says.  That life is suffering and the causes of suffering is you wanting things.

Quite frankly, that just sounds awfully depressing and negative.  No wonder some people don't like the idea of Buddhism.

But that's not really what Buddhism says at all.

Life is not suffering.  Suffering may be your response to it, though, when you don't understand it.

What Buddhism teaches is that life isn't, and can't be, perfect.

Life is change.  Everything changes.  We go from the land being crisp and covered in winter snow, blossoming into life in spring, warm sunny summer days by the beach, and kicking golden autumn leaves.  We have emotions and feelings.  We have experiences and learn.  Children play and grow.  We listen to magnificent music and eat delicious food.  Its wonderful.  It's amazing !!

But it can't be all seasons at once.  We can't listen to all music at one, or eat all the delicious food at one, or experience all those amazing emotions at once.  There must always be something missing.

If life was perfect, it would not change.  If it did not change, it would not be life.

So. life is not perfect, there is always going to be something missing and something new, and that's just how it should be.

That is what Buddhism means when it says that life is 'Dukkha': it is suffering in the sense that it is unsatisfactory, it is never everything at one, it isn't perfect.

That, of itself, isn't a problem.

The problem is, we have this little thing in our minds called an ego.  This ego developed, or evolved, to help us survive.  It looks at our memories, works out patterns, and tells us what might happen in the future.  It's like a little alarm system: "Alert Alert .. if you go into that part of the jungle you may get eaten because yesterday you saw a tiger there; Alert Alert .. this other part of the jungle is where you found lots of food last week". Very useful.

However, as we developed it got more and more active, and started calling itself "me".   And this 'me' is continually narrating what is going on, thinking about the past and the future.  It sees the bad things in the past and that makes us feel regret.  It sees the good things in the past and that make us feel loss.  It predicts more good things in the future and that makes us feel desire.  It predicts more bad things in the future and that makes us feel aversion and fear.  It want to hold onto things as they were.  It doesn't want to grow old and die.

The truth is, past and future are out of our control.  The only control we have is what we think and do now.  The more our ego thinks about past and present, the more stressed and frustrated and angry and worried we get because we can't change it !

Not only can't they be changes, past and future don't even exist.  As they say, "Yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes".  They are illusions, visions, memories.  They aren't real.  Yet our ego thinks about them all the time to the point that they appear real to us.

The only reality is now.  The wonderful, ever-changing now that is life, the universe, and everything.

It is our ego's obsession with the grasping at the illusions of past and future that is part of the suffering buddhism talks about.

The other part of suffering comes about because we think our universe is made up of things that are all separate entities.  Cars, rocks, animals, planets, people.  All separate things.

But that, too, is an illusion.  Splitting up the universe into things is just a concept.  It is something our mind does to help us understand the vastness of it all.  Just like we cut up out food into pieces that we can chew and swallow.

Underneath it all, there are just patterns within patterns.  Everything is made of the same little subatomic particles that swirl around, and those particles themselves don't have real substance and are just patterns of quantum probabilities that exist everywhere at once.  There are not different separate things out there, just patterns within patterns.

We categorise the universe, these patterns, into 'things' in our minds.  We push some away and grab hold of others.  We acquire possession, which are only even 'ours' as a concept.

Worse, we think of ourselves, the 'I', as a separate thing from everything else.  It's I and me against the world

And our clever little egos know that what we think of as 'me' is getting older and eventually it will fall apart and the ego will no longer exist.

That is the biggest cause of suffering of them all.

But it, too, is just based on an illusion.  We are something, one of many somethings, that the universe is doing.  Its a process, an ever changing pattern.  It is life.  And one day, when that pattern wears out and fades away, the universe will do other patterns.  Nothing real is lost or ceases to be.  It just changes form.

So that is the suffering the Buddhism talks about.  And it is all based on the illusions of past and future, of me against the world.  That life is change and we can't hold onto things and still have life.

It is when we realise that there is no separate "I" to be grasping at things, that there is nothing real to be grasping hold of, that we can finally let go of those illusions.

That realisation is a relief.  It really is waking up to yourself.  In buddhism that realisation is called 'enlightenment'. When you experience that enlightenment, or waking, you become a Buddha.  The word 'Buhhda' simply means 'someone who is awake'.

It's like we've been trying to hold our breath because we don't want change, and then realising that that just causes us pain and that we can't keep on doing that, and then finally breathing out and letting go.  "Phew".

The sanskrit word used in Buddhism for that breathing out, and letting go is "Nirvana". It means ''blow out".  It's the breathing out, the letting go, the relief that comes with enlightenment.  It's not some mystical paradise.  It's not about dying and going to heaven.  It's about living and enjoying the wonderful experience and enormity of now that we call 'life'.

Reviews

[Beau Maysey]

My father is a practicing Buddhist so these are indeed some very positive and didactic thoughts you've put down, and I'm glad you're sharing them with others.
Keep on your path, you seem to have found a good way. :)

[Pax]

Dear mr.Rogie,

It is a very nice pleasure of mine to read such in-depth understanding of the philosophy in Buddhism. In my life I never have come to read their books, but I research something about their teaching, yet still I only scratch the surface of it. By this offering of yours, through your understanding it gives a lighten feeling on what Buddhism is like.

And I like how you contemplate about life. So if you don’t mind, I would give my take on it.

I could never say Life sucks, but I could say ‘My life’ sucks. Because I believed life doesn’t suck badly, it is you or us or as you say OUR BIG EGO says so… Perhaps our life sucks because we as humans make bad choices, and in direct result, our life becomes miserable if we do think about our problem too much to become a burden. Life can only suck if you think it is, but in reality life is fair and balance, even though again, we say life is too unfair…Perhaps indeed our ego, takes part of our dummy reasoning. Reasons on which are farfetched, selfish and unreasonable at times.

Life is not suffering. Yes that is so true. We suffer in our own account. Suffering for me is the side effect of again - the bad choices we took. Or some are just fate takes its course upon us without knowing. Life is full of choices, and usually those choices leads in two path – the right and wrong…

Life is change. Yes, indeed, it is a constant evolution if I may think it is… Life is not perfect, like everything else in this world, imperfection is in which is around us all.

With all that contemplation above, I guess it is natural to think this way. I mean to think life is Unfair or it sucks badly and so on… I guess it is part of our human nature to blame, I mean to point blames on others and life itself. The blaming game humans do play. Perhaps it is just an instant reaction of the current situation, the urge to blame someone or something of sort to make us feel relieved of this discomfort feeling of guilt or anything that displeasure us. And I say before you blame others, reflect first upon yourself - Silence provides calm thinking, clarity and answers to your problems.

I guess there is nothing wrong to reflect and think about the past or look forward to the future. It’s common for us to think about it and more often we can’t avoid thinking about it. It is just that it only becomes wrong when you think of it too much that you loosen/blind yourself of what’s now. Balance, I am a believer of balance, and I do think Buddhism teaches a strong stand point about balance and harmony.

We cannot change the past nor can’t we fully predict the future. The Future will always be uncertain and the past will always remain in the past.

“Past and future don't even exist. They are illusions, visions, and memories. They aren't real.”

Not sure either I disagree or agree on some points of those lines: How can be the past inexistent when you have lived within this time period before? How can the past be not real enough for you to feel it isn’t real?

Yeah, the past is all about memories, but not all memories are illusions. Our past life experiences are not mere illusion, perhaps it is inexistent now because it already had come to passed, but it doesn’t mean it’s not real or it didn’t happened or it is false in some ways that it becomes an illusion or false enough to be unbelievable. Without the past our learning becomes nothing or it is hard to prove that we have learned from our mistakes.

The future is the hardest to predict, more often you can never see what’s going to happen, reaming uncertain. The is our vision of what’s going to happened, so meaning you are right, it is nonexistent but it doesn’t mean it will not happened. I mean there are some little things that you could see the certain result for the near future. These little things that are going to be the end result of our choices. Yet the big things will always be uncertain…

We suffer because we tend to over think, over complicate, over reflect and over worry of the things about to happen or just happened.

I guess the beauty and truth about Buddhism you will learned how to let go of the past and be free of your own chained mistakes.

You know my new friend; I always believed that everything around us is interconnected somehow in one way or another. Everything happens for a reason no matter how small or big it is. I have this old short poem about the entire universe.

Life of the Entire Galaxy
a puzzle that needs to be solve that brings more confusion to the mind
a math problem that seeks answers that brings more questions in the end
a riddle with twist and turns that brings more pathways with infinite possibilities

I always admire the concept of enlightenment. To be enlightened must be fascinating to see or too realized.

You have done a great contemplation here my friend, I really do admire how you expressed everything. Great work

[Rogie-Dodge]

Thanks very much .. we are on similar wavelengths there :D

Regarding past and future being not real. The point is that they are not real in the present moment. When we lived what we now call 'past', it wasn't called 'past', it was called 'now'. By the time it is called "past", it no longer exists as it was and now has changed. So 'past' is always the name of something that no longer exists. Similarly 'future' is always the name of something that does not yet exist. 'Now' is the only time we live.

We just don't (and can't) experience all of now at once, it unfolds and changes before us.

[Pax]

welcome, :)