One Sided Love Always Hurts

Based on a true story.

With pure heart and eternal love aspire,
He approached to her with true desire.
He offered her the world,
But she said she had her of own.
Evrerything became cold,
He still tried to be bold.
She snatched presence of love from the air,
Broken heart is what none can ever repair.
Her shot fled blood in the river,
Pain he felt in his every single shiver.
A little support was what he required,
But it was the planned shot of death
what he finally acquired.

Author's Note

Please review honestly.i am a rookie and your reveiws will surely help

Reviews

[Érenn]

Well it's all right believe me we all start as rookies ^^ So did I and it's been just around 2 weeks since I got on to poetry. You learn a lot here. Well , it's a good attempt at what you wanted to express, the sentiment could be clearly seen, but there's a lot more to work on. ^^ Ok there are a few mistypes( read and edit) and it is "she said, she had her own" not her of own
The rhymes seemed forced in parts. Keep it free when you can't rhyme, my initial poems had the same problems, i would try to rhyme forcefully. ^^ All in all I understand what has happened, and I am sorry it was a friend of yours who had to face such a tragic incident.