SOMETIMES I EAT MY NEIGHBORS

A humorous poem about the king of the beasts

SOMETIMES I EAT MY NEIGHBORS

By R. A. Merritt

I don't do very much, I don't attend to labors

I lay around most of the time and sometimes I eat my neighbors

I don't do any of the hunting either I leave that to my wives

Anything that requires some effort I pretty much despise

And yet I'm king of the beasts a regal being I be

The proudest and the loudest lion on the Serenghetti

My diet seldom varies I eat a lot of gazelle

And sometimes smaller prey and buffaloes as well

And sometimes when I'm frisky and needing some extra love

I kill the little ones other fellows cubs

But don't you think it was easy to become master of this troupe

If I'd tried to early I'd been thrown for a loop

For it's a tough job being master of this realm

Such a job to young will surely overwhelm

You have to be ready to take this job one that you can savor

One that you can enjoy and sometimes eat your neighbor

I don't have any friends either the hyenas I abhor

For when I hear them laugh it burns me to the core

Those creeps and the jackals and vultures slow and fleet

 Are always sneaking in and trying to steal my meat

And that is one of the troubles, the things that will make you quaver

When you're about your business and sometimes eat your neighbor

But don't you worry yourself with things so far away

And perhaps we'll get a chance to meet on some future day

Perhaps you'll come here and perhaps me you'll favor

And I'll eat you when you're here and the time you are my neighbor

For you see I'm a lion fool, a lion apt to roar

And you should have thought of that before you moved next door

Author's Note

When I originally wrote this I had just seen a documentary about lions and what abjectly lazy animals they are.