Days of Our Lives

The fleeting time between life and death

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photograph by Daniel Pendery:  http://pendery.org/files/images/0188%20City%20Streets.preview.jpg

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

A child is born

Wide eyes of blue

Knit clothes adorn

And little shoes

 

A young boy jumps

A young boy yells

Sick with the mumps

Collects sea shells

 

Now home from school

To kiss the girl

Emotions rule

New love aswirl

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

A new day starts

An evening falls

A song is hummed

A good friend calls

 

The coffee brewed

The paper read

A good wife kissed

Kids put to bed

 

Now lost the job

And down and out

The temples throb

Future in doubt

 

Find work again

So not a flop

New job’s a strain

But just can't stop

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

Now getting old

And time to rest

A watch of gold

Hangs from the vest

 

A loved one gone

Mist in the eyes

A graveyard lawn

Soft tears and sighs

 

The body tired

Goodbyes to friends

No more required

Rest at the end.

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

 

 

 

©2009, Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

Reviews

[Christopher Robin]

Rick,

First of yours I have read, was recommended here, gladly so.
This piece is very well written, stays on track with meter and rhyme, develops a marvelous cadence as it trots along. No longer or shorter than it needs to be, you've struck a perfect balance between quality and quantity, a concept many around here fail to grasp.
I scrutinize very closely, and could spot only one possible flaw. It makes sense technically but I wonder if there could be slightly smoother grammar. Your third stanza, the line "And kiss the girl". In conjunction with the line before it does not read grammatically correct (as it is an order, not a continuation), it should read "To kiss the girl". The poem is telling us what has happened, not what to do, this sudden shift was the only jarring moment I found in the otherwise flawless piece.
Nicely penned, I look forward to reading more excellent work!

-Robin

[Michael G. Smith]

A nice depiction of the phases of life.

[Jack Wolfe]

The never ending cycle of life . . . memories transcended through time until we find our resting place. A interesting and entertaining write. Well done.

[Briana O'Connor]

This is an impacting expression of life as one experiences it. I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was very captivating! One thing I would suggest is having each verse stick to one topic. There were a couple verses where you were describing a phase of life, but it came off it a bit random. Thank you for entering this beautiful piece into the competition. I enjoyed the read.

[Briana O'Connor]

This is an impacting expression of life as one experiences it. I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was very captivating! One thing I would suggest is having each verse stick to one topic. There were a couple verses where you were describing a phase of life, but it came off it a bit random. Thank you for entering this beautiful piece into the competition. I enjoyed the read.

[emmajoy]

And that, my friend, is life in fine metre and short songlike phrases; and yet, if anyone knows, you do - life is far, far more. Every stage has its own sadness, its own magic, and between birth and death is the meandering adventure you've portrayed so beautifully.
I don 't know why the following stanza jumps out at me but then opinions in life don't always need reasons, but merely feelings, ' A new day starts ~ An evening falls ~ A song is hummed ~ A good friend calls '
A propos the picture, I see the umbrellas as being comfort and protection, the rain as being tears and, the black and white as being just what they are.

[Marie Harrison]

Your poem choked me up, making me a little teary eyed. It's a very charming poem.

[Charles D. Moorer]

neatly summed up, and that's all she wrote folks.

[Lady Diana]

very true and heartfelt i like it

[Mollie]

Hi Rick,

It is lovely, simple and descriptive and to the point, not one wasted word.

Mollie