Ode to a meadowlark

May he find his love again!

Photographer: Ian Britton, licensed under a Creative Commons license. This photo can be found at http://www.freefoto.com/images/806/09/806_09_7656---Summer-Meadow-Arkengarthdale_web.jpg

 

 

Ode to a meadowlark

 

 

Ah, rising sun, kiss morning’s dew

Chill breath of night away thou chase

A sprite from trees there yonder flew

But why flies he away in haste?

As I through meadows lonely pace

 

Crimson orb, paint sky with red

On fields, again, new day doth break

Yet from love’s loss my heart has bled

And Sorrow, joy of life does take

As o’er these fields my way I make

 

And I have suffered now so long

For I have lost my love of years

And so near given up life's song

And openly cried bitter tears

When life's great gladness disappeared

 

But burst of color now does dash!

And heart’ning call of bird I hear

Bright yellow through my tears doth flash

And call so trill without a peer

Defeating grief, my soul does cheer

 

Now wind makes low, I strain to see

Where didst the merry fellow go?

Not in the sky, nor in the tree

There sounds again!  Away and low

Another bird calls to its beau

 

Oh happy bird, I envy you!

You’ll find your love again, I know

You’ll have your love as day renews

To warm your heart when cold wind blows

And shield you from life's winter snows

 

Yet still I cannot help but smile

This cheerful bird to his love sings

As I have stood here for this while

Enraptured song contentment brings

Oh, there he goes--he’s taking wing!

 

 

 

 

The Western Meadowlark (Sturnella neglecta). Unlike the Eastern Meadowlark, the Western Meadowlark has a beautiful song as it calls to its mate. You may hear this bird’s call at http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Meadowlark/sounds.

 

Photograph from Wikipedia http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/46/Western_Meadowlark.jpg, taken by Kevin Cole and licensed under Creative Commons.

 

 

Author's Note

To Mark: the ababb rhyme scheme is called "Cinquain"--see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinquain.

To Mollie: Yep. The Eastern Meadowlark was known for a long time while the Western was ignored. And the Eastern Meadowlark has a very uninteresting call compared to the Western Meadowlark.

Readers: If you're unfamiliar with the call of this bird, I encourage you to use the link below the picture to hear it.

To The Thracian: As always, a very detailed review. Thank you. And thank for pointing out the typo. That will be fixed, of course. And you're right, I do take a lot of poetic license in this poem--maybe that's why I like it so much! And yes, I do switch between tenses. But this is intentional. This is a play between the past and the present. Hopefully the past will recede with the power presented by the Meadowlark in the present. Regarding "wind" and "snows", yep, number changes. I have actually tried all combinations. I like this the best. And "life's winter snows" is quite intentional. My wording is not only intended to be literal as in your suggested "wintry snows". The snows need not be, and usually aren't, climatic at all, but emotional. So I'll leave this as it stands. Regarding punctuation, this is a continual battle. I'm in a sparse punctuation mood right now and I don't think meaning is misconstrued by lack of additional punctuation. But I do like this to be pointed out to me as you always correctly do. So thanks again for your most thorough review. Best regards and thanks!

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Rick, thank you. This poem lifted my heart as hearing the bird lifted yours! You give so much of yourself to your writing and to WC. I not only get to read your beautiful words, but learn other things, as well. You enrich us all with your gifts of words and knowledge. Thank you, my friend and congratulations!

[Gandré]

great job Rick, I thought I enjoyed this a lot, favorite.

[Tovli]

Rick I think this is a wonderful poem. It flows well, the form is functional (ode) in that it is lyrical and praises both nature and the Meadowlark. It has the mechanics of the Romantics and it explores problems in the world as well as beauty. It starts out with a slow, lovely meditative quality that is so honorable one immediately thinks of both Shelly and Keats. The imagery is well presented.

[Aurora Night]

Great poetry. i loved it.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Oh Rick, you have a masterpiece here. Let me say that I wish I had written this lovely poem. Great job
Congrats on your winning poem. Well done

[The Thracian]

There's a typo in your third line.. the word 'hast' should be haste, unless I am mistaken. I'm a little, well not a little, very uneasy with how you're treating your verbs and generally formulating your sentences. You transition from one tense to another, not only once, as well as dropping words here and there. It all makes for an uneasy read for me. Some lines could be clarified with commas as well, for example:
This cheerful bird to his love sings
==
this cheerful bird, to his love, sings

Not that it wasn't somewhat clear... but I think the pauses and the sense of the sentence are made more clear in the latter example. There're also some rhymes that could be tuned up with minor adjustments, for example:

Oh happy bird, I envy you!
You'll find your love again, I know
You'll have your love as day renews
To warm your heart when cold winds blow
And shield you from life's winter snow [or drop "life's" and use wintry]

Also, to say cold wind blows and the winter snows is inconsistent (one wind, many snows), and the same argument can be made for the arrangement I have, but the rhyme is truer.

For the sake of the message, this is okay. But, I think in terms of poetry, you could work on a lot more than just form Rick. Create more compound ideas, and don't always use a tone and language as if you're speaking to children.

Keep working you scientist! Back to the lab!

Thracian.

[Sheila Kline]

Dear Rick!
Dear Rick!
I could not express the praise that I have for this exquisite write any better than Helena has, so I refer to her comments.

It is just beautiful, as the sentiment, beauty of rhyme, choice of photographs to accompany it are all "magnifico"! It is surely worthy to be featured in Albert's Cafe!!
You have penned a wonderful write that I have indeed enjoyed so much....just my kind of style, and message!

Best Regards,
Sheila

[Helena]

Oh this is simply divine poety. I could not fault this in anyway.
The imagery superb and I just wanted to read if over and over
and savour the beauty of this amazing poem.

I have featured this in Albert's Group I loved it so much.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent with us again poet.

Helena

[Lalli]

Rick my friend,

Your ability to capture this moment, this inspiration from the simply observing a meadowlark singing for its mate was brilliantly done. Its the simple things that can remind us, its the beauty of nature that can fresh our souls.

But i also loved the description of the colors, the sun, the best of the bird and their connection to your emotions.

*snap snap* I thruoughly enjoyed it

Much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Mollie]

I love it Rick,

Especially given the scientific name of the Western Meadowlark "Sturnella neglecta".
Mollie

[Mark]

How easily the chains of depression can be broken, merely by focusing on something else, particularly the beauty and subtlety of God's creation/creatures!
Far briefer and simpler in style to much of what I've read of you, RIck. Approachable, calming, hopeful: Wonderful!
I wonder, is the a-b-a-b-b rhyme scheme a standard form, or one you cooked up just for this? Your ability to distill out all the dross in your thoughts, and still place the evaporate in a pleasing format is a goal to be striven for!