The Ne'er King

What is Man without purpose? -- To my Father

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported. Author: Hgrobe. The original image has been modified. The original can be seen at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/55/Senufo-mask_hg.jpg

 

 

 

The Ne’er King

 

        Not just about Kings...

 

Ne'er from legends of past sorrows,

Find we deeds that song may borrow

No righted wrongs of yesterday

Or how the Ne'er King loved or slayed

 

Most meager, He, among the meek

And when He died no tear wet cheek

No dauntless gaze came from His eyes

Ne'er hint of danger shook His thighs

 

His name not set in memory

Not history, nor family!

Ne'er were His deeds set down in books

And from His rage no monster shook

 

Ne'er fought He fiend in fetid fen

Or poured He passion from His pen

Ne'er He for honor or for fame

Lifted sword, His heart in flame

 

He had sweet breath and winning looks

But for hard works no time He took

His soul held naught but poverty

Ne'er in His name was majesty

 

Oh think, what purpose His life filled?

No victory sought, no dragon killed

Had He no course or any plan?

Then He ne'er King, ne'er He a man.

 

 

©2009, Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

Author's Note

I am especially indebted to my friends Legion and Mark for pointing out the weakness in the last stanza of prior versions of this poem. Initially I disagreed with your assessment, but after due consideration I could only admit that you both were right. The new ending is very much stronger and I have both of you to thank for pushing me in this direction. Thanks, my friends!

Additional thanks go to Meredith Greene for helping me tone down the number of occurances of "ne'er" in the piece. Ne'er it be said I don't listen to my critics and follow their suggestions especially when they are so on the mark. Thanks, Meredith.

Reviews

[Legion]

I like this piece, but I think the last stanza really needs some work. Doesn't seem to really fit with the rest of the piece. Also, fix the last line of the second stanza. Should be "his" not "this". Reminds me a bit of "Ozymandius" by Percy Byce Shelley.

As for what is man without purpose? Ne'er much more than a monkey without meaning.

[Chris]

Nice submission. Good dialectal approach to this poetry. Interesting theme, exploring what really is the difference between man and king.

[BLBrown]

Rick,

This is really lovely and the way to wrote with technical beauty is astounding. I don't agree with an early comment about shaking thighs. Has one, feet apart, facing fear, not shook from head to toe, thighs included?

I love this stanza the most:

Ne'er fought He fiend in fetid fen
Or poured He passion from His pen
Ne'er He for honor or for fame
Lifted sword, His heart in flame

"Or poured He passion from His pen." That is so clever and fits so well in the poem. I love this sort of writing...you are so good at this and have given me confidence to try myself. The flow here is magical. I read it out loud 3 times just to hear the words so honest, beautiful in its sadness and so very moving. This is what I mean by the noble cause of the true poet...writing with honesty even when it is not all flowers and sunshine.

In the words of my favorite poet:

"Beauty of whatever kind in its supreme development invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." Edgar Allen Poe, 1850

Awesome poem! Congratulations and thanks for pointing me to it!

All the best!
Barbara

[MoriartyMesa]

I liked this, would have liked to have read the original thou

[Michael Lopez]

for the length of the poem...i liked it... I'm not much into the old rhyme thing. great job!!!

[JENY]

A very good poem….
You chose very different themes…..
To write poems….and they are really fantastic….

[Christina May Shanaberg]

This is a very interesting write; it has a British flare to it. I really enjoyed reading it. However, I hope your father is fore'er king, in your mind and heart.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

How many more men live their lives unnoticed, unrecognized, and without notoriety or fame. They may never be kings, but they are men. My father was such a man, having died when I was only four. Buried in an unmarked grave nonetheless. I was too young when he died to have any memories of him; and while no one else may have honored him, I did so. He now has his name upon his grave, and he has ben noticed, recognized, and has notoriety and fame with me. Without injecting too much of my personal emotions, what I'm trying to say is that every man can be king to his daugher.

The tonality of your poem resonates with a certain sadness; yet, the blending of history into the piece lends an air of the classical to it that puts it on a pedestal for a completely different perspective.

I like it very much.

Linda Marie

[Andrew (not Andy, A.J. ..]

Wow, Rick! Great poem. An amazing feat of language.
You have some amazing lines in there. And some not so amazing ones, such as 'Ne'er hint of danger shook His thighs,' which I'm not too crazy about. Just not sure how danger would shake his thighs :S
Anyway, good job!
Best Wishes and Highest Regards and Deepest Sincerity and Utmost Honor and All Due Respect and All That Sort of Stuff,
--Andrew