Calling All Souvenir-Intended

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Please clear the center of the floor.

Make way,
It's going to be an existential night.

Focus, focus, camera man.

Let me be the first to say,
This outcome has enlightened us so.

Thank you for your patience,
Let's begin the show.

Raise, raise, your hand, Mr. Volunteer.

Can we have you X this contract,
Nothing too import, just your life in parenthesis.

Blindfold, please.

On the count of three press the button,
On the count of three press the button.

Relax, exhale, inhale, twitch.

Everybody please,
Five. Four, three.

Turn your attention to the direction board.
Gasp, silence, cheer.

Mr. Wastedlife.
Clean up the mess..please.