F*****g miss you

Just the late night thoughts of a man who misses someone

I f*****g miss you.

I am laying in my bed, with a headache, just looking at the ceiling; just thinking about all that I did wrong, all the awful things that I say, and worst yet all the things that I felt but never really told you. And for what? For fear? Stupid

I wanted to buy a bottle of alcohol in the store next door but I just ran out of cash, and now I have to deal with all this thoughts.

You know, insomnia was already bad, but now is f*****g dreadful, but well, I guess I only have myself to blame. Maybe it’s not too late, perhaps I can still change things you know, fix all the s**t that I did, yeah, maybe, maybe... no. You better without me. I fucked up and I have to learn to live with that. I will only cause you more pain, because that what I do, I take the things that I loved the most and I squeeze them until they ran out of light.  

It’s been so long. Lately I founding harder to remember your face; I can still remember your laugh, your smell, the way you used to wake me up in the morning with two little kisses in the nose; but your face is starting to get blurred, I found that… sad. I guess time does really wipe your memories whether you want it or not.

I know I’m wrong by working only to buy some cheap alcohol in order to get wasted and unconscious in my bed, but damn I just don’t know what to do. You were my lifeguard; my anchor in this crazy sea of noise in that we live; my something to hold on to; you were my, my…

I don’t know, maybe I will burn this letter or something cause I’m sure as hell I’m no sending you this never. Well, one thing is for sure…

I f*****g miss you.

Author's Note

So, i write this. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistake, i´m spanish and i´m still learning to write in english. Any suggestion will be very welcome, thanks.

Reviews

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Life is a lesson to be learnt through trials tribulations and many mistakes, but it’s not in the falling down but in the getting back up- one thing is for sure never keep words unspoken today for tomorrow may never come- open and honest saves a world of regret - never to late to learn or to try again- I enjoyed reading🌹