Land , where we belong to ...........

Gives birth to all , I , we and you all belong to this land,
Such gigantic , far flung , everywhere is its reach ,
No pragtism , no egos , have to learn , respect our motherland ,
Still lies down , takes all in its lap ......

Bears the heat , it bears the rains as well ,
Makes the sun move around it ,
Sees the moon and stars , everyday as well ,
Still stays there , doesn't move an inch .....

Has abundance of water beneath it ,
Strong and loud it remains , as trees stand tall on it ,
Still remains calm , shows no reaction .....

We buy a piece of land and sometimes fight over it ,
Love it , nurture it , caress it as well ,
Remember this land does not belong to US ,
It is US , It is WE , who belong to this land ..... always ..

Reviews

[mknudson]

I actually think your style is unique. Yes, usually we don't usually see so many commas in poetry, but that's what makes it your own. There is no "right" way to write your own poetry... It's how you want to create it!

If I may ask, what inspired you to write this poem?

[SAGAR]

I really appreciate your incisive viewpoint on the above poetry . Actually , it is very right that commas are avoided in this , but my depiction of Land was not getting completed without that , so ..

Actually , it was just that I went to my close friend's cremation , which made me realise the importance of Land , as at the end , it is this very Land that takes us into its lap ...

[Helena]

Sagar the first thing that struck me as I looked at the poem was there seemed to be too many commas. I would if it was my poem take away the commas at the end of the sentences. Also where you have written a long sentence, break it up and make another sentence of it. It should work ok then. Just a suggestion my friend!

Other than that it was great!

[SAGAR]

Thanks for the suggestion . Definitely keep in mind the same . Thanks , once again...