again and again

read fast**

here again,, - writing on my time

as if it'd change things and their minds

i guess its all; to ease my mind

the stress gets greater everytime

what i look for; i cannot find

i found her once but lost her eyes 

i'm still a mess and love deprived

almost a year now, i'm despised 

living my fear now, but no crys

couse Gods soo dear now, money wise

but can't be dear now how to strive

i tryed too hard and lost my prize

i'd just fear how to, most my life

and these life lessons take no pride

full of regression in my eyes

i can't relax as gaining thrive

i'm off my track and outta sight

i'm outta mind as i float by

i'm soo neglected by ones life

it ruins me, me i can't fight

i slowly die away from life  

as i rember her --- ..sight..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[AMP]

Here we are again with the forced rhyme scheme. You may have told the reader to read fast, but a truly well written piece leaves pace up to the reader... Not the writer. OR, the writer is able to control the pace of the reader simply with how the words flow from one another. I'm afraid, this doesn't quite touch either one. It reads almost as if it should be a sad lullaby song by a lonesome baritone in the heart of the city and accompanied by a harmonica... Anyway, content is what's important here. It's easy to see how much this girl controls the narrator. He is lost without her. He fights honesty, searches in the right places, but he can't find what he loves the most. He can't find her. That is beautiful in it's own way. I only wish I didn't have to look so hard through the flow of the piece to see it.