Alight Please Sweet Bird of My Wonder

Mon dieu. Je t'aime.

Alight please, sweet bird of my wonder,

sing true for me your sound.

Purr in delight at thunder,

deduce for me your ground.

Lengthy curls spill frayed

in a winded fringe,

remarkably unafraid

and wildly subdued tinge.

On that breeze you soar,

your seraphic face does show,

little else but allure,

and feathersome glow.

Your sculpted visage with inlaid

a little nose and pouty lips,

and immaculate-displayed

ivory goddess ellipse.

But most divine and forever,

deeply brown as umber burned,

doth unreproachfully endeavor

yearning eyes I have discerned.

I beg you, dove, admit your appetite,

I’m ardently ill, a-seized by fierce lust.

Fly here Aphrodite,

cleaved en masse we may rust.

Reviews

[songstress]

Please pardon me if I interpret your poem incorrectly. I like the use of personification of this person you may/may not be writing of. Moreover, there seems to be a playfulness in the mention of purring at thunder and the pouty lips and nose. It seems, this little bird that you wish to "admit it's appetite," has a flirtatious, If bewitching aura is all the more attractive by the slight rhyming in the initial lines. It has a sort of whimsical air to it. the only problem I have is the line where you said "Your sculpted visage with inlaid a little nose and pouty lips." I feel like it interrupts the flow at "a little nose and pouty lips." otherwise, I see it as a good piece. Again, pardon me in my thoughts, if it is that I have misread your poem.

[Sam]

Thank you very much. I would have interpreted it the same way to be honest. It's absolutely supposed to be playful, flirtatious. It's actually the description for a character of a book I'll probably never finish, only not so prosaic. I took the best lines, I rhymed it where I could, changing as little as possible if it couldn't rhyme, even trying to keep it in the same order as I had written it. If I remember correctly, I was looking for a word that rhymed with lips, but it also had to sound romantic, feminine, and had to at least vaguely describe the shape of a smile without making the length of that particular line... well, longer. Thank you again.

[songstress]

you're welcome. That sounds interesting, I guess I know where you're coming from when you talk about stories like that. I hope it works out though.

[Madison O'Dwyer]

Sorry it's taken me a while to reciprocate in writing admiration, but it was well worth the wait. Beautiful piece, speckled with a voluminous vocabulary. Thank you for sharing.

[cloud]

You seemed to have done some research on your subject before posting and to me that is impressive. You have talent for conveying your thoughts to others that create clear images. This writing makes that obvious.

[Gre7g Luterman]

I'm not a poetry fan, but I still liked it. I just can't critique it. Thanks for sharing it!

[Isadora Swift]

Wow, this is so beautiful. Love it!

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Wow, a divinely beautiful and sultry piece here... Loved these lines

"On that breeze you soar,
your seraphic face does show,
little else but allure,
and feathersome glow."

Truly enjoyed this... I will have to come back for more. Well done.

[WritersRankings]

I have to say Samuel, you show a lot of poetic promise. I felt a touch of Keats and I enjoyed the lyrical tone and beautiful quality of this piece.

[Stefanie Holmes]

This was a beautiful piece. I loved the imagery and the unique choices of wording.

~Stefanie

[Zackery Alan Daley]

you got me with "seraphic" to be honest. I am such a huge grammar head for some one who often misuses it. The entire piece screams antiquity, class, and history. Seemingly casting aside modern considerations and stanzas. So much more organic than say Shakespeare, who seems always mathematical and anal about his work. I am a huge Poe fan, and the design is similar, but drawn like English translations of Cattalus... obviously the content is almost opposite other than maybe an eighth grader would not understand it. This is for the intellectuality in us, which gives us love and light.

[Alicia Huntley]

I love the structure. The imagery is beautiful, and unusually chosen at times. I think that is what makes this piece so captivating. The piece needs a few reads I think by the reader to get a good grasp of understanding. Thank you for sharing.